Skip to content
logo4

Jackal.Today

News that makes you want to howl!

  • Home
  • Breaking
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Sport News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Advertise with us!
  • Editorial
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Doom

AMERICA’S ECONOMY ‘BOUT TO GET YEETED INTO OBLIVION, THANKS WAR
Elephant Reads CNN

AMERICA’S ECONOMY ‘BOUT TO GET YEETED INTO OBLIVION, THANKS WAR

Big ElephantJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, trying to scare us with tales of economic doom because of the…

Red Dead Redemption 2 Voice Actors Hilariously Troll Fans with Vague Teases of Impending Doom
Breaking, Games News

Red Dead Redemption 2 Voice Actors Hilariously Troll Fans with Vague Teases of Impending Doom

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Alright, folks, buckle up your horses because the drama is thicker than Dutch’s accent in a poker game! 🤠 Apparently,…

Shipping Shenanigans: CNN Gets Lost at Sea in the US-China Trade Tantrum
Elephant Reads CNN

Shipping Shenanigans: CNN Gets Lost at Sea in the US-China Trade Tantrum

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN reports that the shipping industry is in “chaos” because of Trump’s trade war with China. Can…

People Suddenly Decide They Don’t Hate Everything, Economy Still Doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

People Suddenly Decide They Don’t Hate Everything, Economy Still Doomed

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to downplay the Trump economic miracle! Apparently, consumer sentiment is…

CNN discovers a spa, pretends it’s news
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN discovers a spa, pretends it’s news

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Oh, CNN, always pushing the globalist agenda, aren’t they? “The Spa in the Land of the Healers”? Sounds like a…

Bruce Dickinson Dumps Truckload of Balls on Picasso’s Corpse: 1994 Album Gets Unnecessary Makeover
Breaking, Music News

Bruce Dickinson Dumps Truckload of Balls on Picasso’s Corpse: 1994 Album Gets Unnecessary Makeover

Chord F. DiscordJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

🤣 Ah, 1994. A simpler time. A time when Bruce Dickinson, fresh from his little vacay from IRON MAIDEN (he…

PARADISE LOST Announces New Album ‘Ascension’ (Because ‘Descension’ Was Too Mainstream), Shares ‘Silence Like The Grave’ Single (Prepare to Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

PARADISE LOST Announces New Album ‘Ascension’ (Because ‘Descension’ Was Too Mainstream), Shares ‘Silence Like The Grave’ Single (Prepare to Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 6, 2025

PARADISE LOST, those lovable dinosaurs of British gothic metal (yes, they’re still around!), are dropping their 17th album, “Ascension”, on…

Volbeat Drops New Single ‘Demonic Depression’ – Is This Their Darkest Tune Yet (Or Just Another Tuesday)?
Breaking, Music News

Volbeat Drops New Single ‘Demonic Depression’ – Is This Their Darkest Tune Yet (Or Just Another Tuesday)?

Chord F. DiscordJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

VOLBEAT, those Danish rockabilly dudes who still think it’s 2005, have dropped a music video for “Demonic Depression”. Yes, you…

BUSH Drops New Single ‘The Land Of What Now?’ From Upcoming Album ‘I Beat…My Meat’
Breaking, Music News

BUSH Drops New Single ‘The Land Of What Now?’ From Upcoming Album ‘I Beat…My Meat’

Chord F. DiscordJune 5, 2025June 9, 2025

Grammy-nominated (but did they win? 🤔), multi-platinum (back when people actually bought CDs 💿) rock band BUSH (still around? 👴)…

Wes Anderson’s Box Office Platform Openings: A Hilarious Predictor of ‘The Phoenician Scheme’s’ Looming Doom
Breaking

Wes Anderson’s Box Office Platform Openings: A Hilarious Predictor of ‘The Phoenician Scheme’s’ Looming Doom

Finn McFrameJune 2, 2025June 2, 2025

Wes Anderson is basically the cinematic equivalent of that one friend who only listens to obscure vinyl records and wears…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 5 Next

Most Viewed Posts

  • 😱 New Days of Thunder Sequel Set to Drive Woke Hollywood Wild! 🏁💥 (1,201)
  • Are You Sure This Is Linkin Park? Fans Claim New Song Sounds Like Paramore! 🎸 (1,183)
  • Yoda Goes Black, Chewbacca’s New Pronouns: Lucasfilm’s Wild Plans for Star Wars 😱🌟 (1,150)
  • 🎮 BioWare’s «Mancleaners» and the New Woman Effect: A Look Inside the Studio’s Gender Revolution 💼 (1,026)
  • New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins (826)

Latest posts

  • Judge Crushes Trump’s Dreams of Turning Transportation Funds into Border Wall 20
  • LINKIN PARK Cancels Bern Concert Because Someone Has A Boo-Boo
  • CDC Expert Flees Burning Building, Cites “Reasons”
  • MÖTLEY CRÜE and DOLLY PARTON Team Up to Butcher ‘Home Sweet Home’ in New Collab
  • Biden Declares Juneteenth a National “Let’s All Get Along” Day at a Church Older Than Your Grandpa

Archives

  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn McFrame October 8, 2024
Editorial
! Editorial strike2
Editorial

🔥 Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: «Too Much Money, Too Much Freedom — Enough Is Enough!»

Finn McFrame January 29, 2025
June 2025
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
« May    
Copyright © 2025 Jackal.Today | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}