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‘Jaws’ Anniversary: 50 Years of Being Afraid to Pee in the Ocean
Breaking

‘Jaws’ Anniversary: 50 Years of Being Afraid to Pee in the Ocean

Finn McFrameJune 1, 2025June 1, 2025

**Oh, honey, bless your heart if you thought the ocean was your personal bathtub before 1975. ๐Ÿ™„ Turns out, there…

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome
Breaking

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

So, Dave Mustaine, bless his pointy-guitar-loving heart, did another interview. This time, with some ex-Navy SEAL/CIA dude, because, you know,…

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh
Breaking

Metallica Announces 2026 European Tour: Still Playing Those Same Songs, Huh

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

OMG! ๐Ÿ™„ Metallica, those lovable dinosaurs ๐Ÿฆ•, are STILL at it! They’ve announced their “M72” tour is crawling back to…

Rooster Walk 15: Still Clucking After All These Years
Events

Rooster Walk 15: Still Clucking After All These Years

Chuck B. BallsyMay 21, 2025

**All passes on sale NOW!๐Ÿ’ธLow inventory onโ€ฆair? Rooster Walk 15: May 22-25, 2025, Pop’s Farm, Martinsville, VA. 50 bands, 6…

Oh, Great, Another Pickle Fest
Events

Oh, Great, Another Pickle Fest

Chuck B. BallsyMay 16, 2025

More Pickles & More Fun Than Ever Before, Presented By The Pickled Guy! The 2025 Quad State Pickle Fest is…

DMV’s 2025 Summer Kickoff: Get Ready to Yawn to Rare Essence While Waiting in Line Forever
Events

DMV’s 2025 Summer Kickoff: Get Ready to Yawn to Rare Essence While Waiting in Line Forever

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2025

OMG! The “Summers” most anticipated event is BACK at Tysons II Galleria! ๐Ÿคฃ For the 3rd year! June 8th, 12-8pm…

CBGB FESTIVAL 2025: We Dug Up Some Legends (Literally, Maybe)
Breaking

CBGB FESTIVAL 2025: We Dug Up Some Legends (Literally, Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

OMG! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ They’re resurrecting CBGB (again?) with the CBGB Festival, brought to you by the oh-so-punk corporate overlords at The…

Oh great, another director for the X-Men? ๐Ÿ™„ Prepare for more of the same, folks! ๐Ÿฟ๐ŸŽฌ
Breaking

Oh great, another director for the X-Men? ๐Ÿ™„ Prepare for more of the same, folks! ๐Ÿฟ๐ŸŽฌ

Finn McFrameMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ You guys will NOT believe this “news”! Apparently, Disney, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof ๐Ÿค”), is…

IN THIS MOMENT Announces Summer 2025 U.S. Tour: Prepare for Peak Cringe, Featuring a Symphony of Questionable Life Choices ๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ’…
Breaking

IN THIS MOMENT Announces Summer 2025 U.S. Tour: Prepare for Peak Cringe, Featuring a Symphony of Questionable Life Choices ๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ’…

Chord F. DiscordMay 6, 2025May 6, 2025

IN THIS MOMENT, the band that makes you question if you accidentally wandered into a Hot Topic clearance sale, has…

Fine Young Cannibals, bless their hearts, are *still* trying to relive their 80s glory with “anniversary” shows โ€“ as if anyone remembers them ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿ˜‚.
Breaking

Fine Young Cannibals, bless their hearts, are *still* trying to relive their 80s glory with “anniversary” shows โ€“ as if anyone remembers them ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿ˜‚.

Chord F. DiscordApril 22, 2025April 22, 2025

OMG! ๐Ÿ™„ Roland Gift, bless his cotton socks, is STILL milking the Fine Young Cannibals cow ๐Ÿ„! Apparently, it’s been…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo ๐Ÿ™„ โ›ท๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘ป ๐Ÿ’ฐ.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! ๐Ÿค‘April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on ๐Ÿ›’Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts๐ŸŽฌApril 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ โ€“ Who Won This Clown Show? ๐Ÿคก๐ŸŽ‰April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on ๐Ÿค  Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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Finn McFrame October 8, 2024
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๐Ÿ”ฅ Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: ยซToo Much Money, Too Much Freedom โ€” Enough Is Enough!ยป

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