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Month: May 2025

MTG x Final Fantasy: Three Characters, Zero Original Ideas
Breaking

MTG x Final Fantasy: Three Characters, Zero Original Ideas

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 16, 2025May 16, 2025

Oh great, another crossover! 🙄 As if Magic: The Gathering wasn’t already bloated enough with universes colliding like a toddler’s…

AVerMedia at Computex 2025: Come Touch Our New CamStream 4K (If You Dare)
Breaking

AVerMedia at Computex 2025: Come Touch Our New CamStream 4K (If You Dare)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 16, 2025May 16, 2025

Okay, so AVerMedia, bless their little hearts, thinks DSLRs are making a “comeback.” 😂 Did they just wake up from…

JOHN 5 UNLEASHES ‘FIEND’ UPON UNWARY EARS, ARONOFF’S DRUMS SOMEHOW INVOLVED
Breaking

JOHN 5 UNLEASHES ‘FIEND’ UPON UNWARY EARS, ARONOFF’S DRUMS SOMEHOW INVOLVED

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2025May 16, 2025

OMG! 😱🎸 Shred Lord John 5, fresh from his totally-not-controversial-at-all gig replacing Mick Mars in Mötley Crüe (more on that…

Jade Raymond FLEES Sinking Ship of Fairgame$ at PlayStation, Probably to Start a Goat Farm
Breaking

Jade Raymond FLEES Sinking Ship of Fairgame$ at PlayStation, Probably to Start a Goat Farm

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 16, 2025May 16, 2025

Breaking News! 🚨 Jade Raymond, the so-called “visionary” behind Haven Studios, has reportedly abandoned ship faster than a rage-quitter in…

Orianthi Dares to Release ‘Some Kind Of Feeling’ Album, Unleashes ‘Attention’ Single (As If We Didn’t Already Know She Wanted It)
Breaking

Orianthi Dares to Release ‘Some Kind Of Feeling’ Album, Unleashes ‘Attention’ Single (As If We Didn’t Already Know She Wanted It)

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2025May 16, 2025

OMG! 😱🎸 Orianthi, she of the almost-was-but-not-quite Michael Jackson fame, is dropping a new album called “Some Kind Of Feeling”!…

Bungie Accidentally Makes Marathon a Museum of Illicit Art, Promises to Maybe Look Into It Later
Breaking

Bungie Accidentally Makes Marathon a Museum of Illicit Art, Promises to Maybe Look Into It Later

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 16, 2025May 16, 2025

Bungie, those lovable rogues, are at it again! 🤣 Turns out, they’ve been “inspired” by an indie artist’s work for…

LORNA SHORE: New Album
Breaking

LORNA SHORE: New Album

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2025May 16, 2025

OMG! LORNA SHORE is gracing us with their presence in 2025! Prepare yourselves, mortals, for the sonic apocalypse! 🤘 They’re…

Norman Reedus, Bless His Heart, *Might* Consider Gracing Us With More Sam Bridges in the Death Stranding Movie, You Guys
Breaking

Norman Reedus, Bless His Heart, *Might* Consider Gracing Us With More Sam Bridges in the Death Stranding Movie, You Guys

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 16, 2025May 16, 2025

OMG! Norman Reedus, the guy who carries packages better than your local delivery dude, is “open” to playing Sam Porter…

The Onion

Michael Strahan Surpasses Diane Sawyer As Good Morning America’s All-Time Sack Leader

FinnMay 16, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—After months of closing in on the former news anchor’s legendary record, Michael Strahan surpassed Diane Sawyer on…

Manhattan Vintage: Finally, Clothes Older Than Your Grandma, May 16
Events

Manhattan Vintage: Finally, Clothes Older Than Your Grandma, May 16

Chuck B. BallsyMay 16, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Manhattan Vintage Show, aka the “Beyoncé” of moth-eaten clothes, is back! Prepare for 90+ dealers peddling “vintage” (grandma’s…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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