3 Doors Down Dude Says “Bring It On, Cancer!” Like It’s a Free Guitar Solo 🤘🎸💀
Brad Arnold from 3 DOORS DOWN has stage 4 kidney cancer! 😱 Guess “The Better Life” wasn’t all that better,…
Month: May 2025
Fox News Calls Papacy For Joe Biden
U.S. — Fox News has announced that it is ready to officially project the winner of the papacy, calling the…
OMG! Leaked pics show ASUS’s Xbox handheld and ROG Ally 2 – are they trying to bankrupt us all or just fuel our crippling gadget addiction? 🤣🎮💰
OMG! You won’t BELIEVE what just “leaked” from the FCC! 😱 Apparently, ASUS is working on a SECRET “Project Keenan”…
Trump Orders Reopening Of Alcatraz
    Read MoreThe Onion​​President Donald Trump is directing the reopening and expansion of Alcatraz, the notorious former prison on a hard-to-reach…
Sad: AOC Unable To Obtain Real ID Because She Died On Jan 6 And Is A Ghost
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The national movement to require everyone to convert their forms of identification continued to receive pushback as…
Trump Sends In Nicolas Cage To Reoccupy Alcatraz
SAN FRANCISCO — Nicolas Cage has successfully infiltrated Alcatraz after being tapped by President Trump to reoccupy the famous island…
💉 Witches on the Injectable Train: Nicole Kidman & Sandra Bullock In ‘Practical Magic 2’ Will Show You How to Cast Spells… On Your FACE! 💄
😱 Alright, hold onto your wrinkle creams and maybe clutch your pearls — Hollywood is once again determined to test…
Sin’N’Out
    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Sin’N’Out appeared first on The Onion.  FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,”…
Trump Renames San Francisco Bay ‘Gulf Of Criminals’
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — As part of his ongoing crusade to change the name of each body of water in…
