Bernie Sanders Unveils His New Gold-Encrusted ‘Beat The Oligarchy’ Dirigible
U.S. — In the latest step in his quest to lead working-class Americans to overthrow the elite billionaire ruling class,…
Month: May 2025
Bernie Sanders Unveils His New Gold-Encrusted ‘Beat The Oligarchy’ Dirigible
U.S. — In the latest step in his quest to lead working-class Americans to overthrow the elite billionaire ruling class,…
The Who, bless their geriatric hearts, are apparently still touring and calling it a “farewell,” again 🙄👴🎸🎤💨.
Alright, listen up, you geriatric rockers! 👴👵 The Who, those purveyors of smashed guitars and tinnitus-inducing anthems, are apparently lumbering…
TURNSTILE Announces a 14-Song Visual Album So Groundbreaking, It’ll Premiere at TRIBECA in 2025, Because Apparently, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Already 🤪🎬🎶
OMG! 😱 Your favorite band, TURNSTILE (you KNOW, the ones your little brother won’t stop playing?), just announced “Turnstile: Never…
World of Tanks Dressed Up as Vikings Again, Probably to Sell More Loot Boxes 🙄⚔️💰
Oh, great, just what the world needed: more tanks. But wait, hold your horses (or should I say, tanks?)! Wargaming…
Behold, the Death Stranding 2 controller: for when you REALLY wanna feel like you’re holding a baby and walking on a beach…again 👶🏖️🙄.
Kojima, the absolute madlad, has done it again! They’re releasing a *Death Stranding 2: On the Beach* limited-edition DualSense controller!…
Metallica generously gifts us another ‘Creeping Death’ video from Syracuse, because, you know, we haven’t seen that enough already 🙄🤘
OMG! 😱 Did you HEAR?! Someone actually FILMED Metallica playing “Creeping Death” in Syracuse! 🙄 I mean, who cares, right?…
BREAKING: Smoke Has Risen From Buc-ee’s Indicating Fresh Brisket Is On The Board
WACO, TX — The gathered crowds broke out into deafening cheers as smoke rose from Buc-ee’s this afternoon, indicating fresh…
Trump Offers Undocumented Immigrants $1,000 To Leave Country
Read MoreThe OnionPresident Donald Trump’s administration said that it is going to pay immigrants who are in the United States…