Corporal Klinger Finally Discharged From Army After Trans Military Ban
UIJEONGBU — Corporal Maxwell Klinger has finally been discharged from the Army after the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the Trump…
Month: May 2025
10 People Trump Is Sending To The Reopened Alcatraz
With the whole nation abuzz with President Trump’s proposal to reopen and expand Alcatraz, it’s worth asking who, exactly, would…
Democrats Offer Illegal Immigrants $1,001 To Stay In US
U.S. — In response to President Donald Trump‘s offer to give illegal immigrants $1000 in exchange for deporting themselves, Democrats…
Thunderbolts: Oh Honey, They’re Totally “The New Avengers” 😉 (Bless Their Hearts 🙄)
Marvel, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof 🤡), has pulled the ultimate rug-pull! Remember ‘Thunderbolts*’? Yeah, well, scratch that!…
Trump Decries Lack Of U.S.-Made Products Lodged In American Rectums
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Angrily claimings the populace had neglected its patriotic duty to support domestic manufacturing, President Donald Trump issued a…
Grand Theft Auto VI Trailer: Florida Simulator 2077 looks like my retirement plan, except with more explosions and less shuffleboard 🌴👵💥
OMG! Rockstar DELAYS GTA VI AGAIN! 😱 Is this the end of gaming as we know it?! Okay, okay, calm…
Beyoncé, bless her heart, had to wrangle her “Cowboy Carter” tour a bit after someone sent a strongly worded yee-haw 🤠📜 demanding she chill
Hold on to your Stetsons, Beyhive! Queen Bey, our supreme ruler of all things sparkly and over-the-top, apparently got a…
💸 GET PAID to LEAVE THE USA? 🇺🇸 Riot Games Now SPONSORING Cheater Deportations! Exclusive Dirt Inside! 🔥
In a world where your K/D ratio in Call of Duty is a more significant life achievement than, say, curing…
IN THIS MOMENT Announces Summer 2025 U.S. Tour: Prepare for Peak Cringe, Featuring a Symphony of Questionable Life Choices 🤘🤡💅
IN THIS MOMENT, the band that makes you question if you accidentally wandered into a Hot Topic clearance sale, has…
Couple Debates Ethical Implications Of Bringing Another Child Into This Bar
Read MoreThe OnionAUGUSTA, GA—Racked with guilt at the thought of making the wrong decision, local couple Anthony Wells and Katherine…