Elden Ring: Nightreign’s Post-Launch Bosses Arrived to Ruin Your Life
Alright, listen up, you glorious Tarnished noobs! Elden Ring: Nightreign has been out for a whopping three weeks, and FromSoftware…
Day: June 19, 2025
METALLICA: PLUGINZ Milks Cliff Burton’s Corpse for Cash with Useless Jack Rack Collection
Alright, buckle up, metalheads (and metal-adjacent folks who accidentally clicked on this)! 🤘 Pluginz, those masterminds of musical merchandise, are…
India’s Tech Dreams Get a Reality Check (Thanks, Apple and Trump)
Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! Now they’re drooling over India stealing jobs from China because of Trump’s trade…
Lisa Su Just Tweeted This Xbox Thing, So Gaming is Saved, Obvi
OMG! 😱 Xbox Teams Up with AMD: Is This the End of Gaming as We Know It? 🤣 Prepare for…
Tom Cruise and a Bunch of Other Losers to Get Pity Oscars
OMG! 😱 The Academy is finally throwing a bone to Tom Cruise, giving him an Honorary Oscar! 🏆 You know,…
Man Returning From Near-Death Experience Recalls Angels Making Him Sign NDA
Read MoreThe OnionHOUSTON—Recounting the deeply spiritual event as one that was life-changing but contractually difficult to articulate, area man Kyle…
Detective Gets Annoying Visit From Brat He Rescued 15 Years Ago, Demands Favors
Another day, another snowflake melts my frozen heart. Fifteen years ago, a REAL hero, Detective Sgt. Jeff Sheaman, saved some…
‘Are you alive?’: ‘F1’ actor reveals his mom is a helicopter parent who probably still cuts his sandwiches into tiny triangles | CNN
Hollywood elites are at it again, glorifying dangerous activities while pushing their leftist agenda! CNN interviews Jerry Bruckheimer, Javier Bardem,…
AMERICA’S ECONOMY ‘BOUT TO GET YEETED INTO OBLIVION, THANKS WAR
Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, trying to scare us with tales of economic doom because of the…
Styx: Still Rockin’ (Barely) in Concord, CA – 2025’s “Brotherhood of Rock” (AARP Division) Tour
OMG! 🙄 Some geriatric rockers calling themselves STYX (yes, like the river in Hades, because their music is basically eternal…