OMG! 🙄 Some geriatric rockers calling themselves STYX (yes, like the river in Hades, because their music is basically eternal torment 💀) actually played a whole concert in Concord, California back in the ancient year of 2025! 👴👵 And guess what? Someone, probably a bot 🤖 with too much time on their hands, uploaded the entire thing to YouTube on the Fragile Undertow channel! 🌊 You can watch it below if you hate yourself and have absolutely nothing better to do. 🤷♀️
Featured Songs (aka the same ones they’ve been playing since the dinosaurs roamed the earth 🦖):
The Grand Illusion (more like the grand delusion that this is still relevant) 🤡
01. The Grand Illusion (still trying to fool us, huh?) 🤔
02. Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man) (more like the angry old men) 😡
03. Superstars (citation needed) 🌟
04. Come Sail Away (to a different concert, please!) 🚢
05. Miss America (because pandering is timeless) 🇺🇸
06. Man In The Wilderness (sounds about right for their relevance) 🏕️
07. Castle Walls (built on nostalgia and denial) 🏰
08. The Grand Finale (with band introductions, because who even remembers their names?) 👋
The Hits (and by “hits” we mean songs your dad used to blast in the minivan 🚐):
09. Rockin’ The Paradise (aka the local retirement home) 🧓
10. Too Much Time On My Hands (clearly, if you’re watching this) ⌚
11. Lady (still objectifying women in 2025, classy!) 💃
12. Build And Destroy (their legacy, maybe?) 🔨
13. The Best Of Times (were probably in the 70s) 🕺
14. Blue Collar Man (Long Nights) (singing about working hard while raking in the dough) 💰
Encore (because they haven’t bored you enough yet):
15. Mr. Roboto (peak cringe) 🤖
16. Renegade (more like relics) 💀
Apparently, these guys, along with REO SPEEDWAGON (another band that should have stayed in the past 🕰️), had “hugely successful sold-out residencies” in Vegas. 🎰 I’m guessing the casinos comped the tickets to keep the blue-hairs entertained. 👵👴 They played their old albums in full! Groundbreaking! 🙄 And now they’re taking this geriatric show on the road! 🚌 “Brotherhood Of Rock” tour? More like “Brotherhood Of AARP.” 👴👴👴
But wait, there’s more! STYX is releasing a new album! 💿 Called “Circling From Above” (circling the drain, more like it 🕳️), it’s about “the complexities of the human experience through the intersecting lenses of technology and nature.” 🌳🤖 Deep. Real deep.
The album features all seven members, including “The Godfather of STYX” (who came up with that nickname? 😂). The first single is called “Build And Destroy” (original title, guys! 💯). Singer Lawrence Gowan says it feels like “a little ‘Star Trek’ or ‘Twilight Zone’ thing.” 👽 Yeah, because that’s what the world needs: more sci-fi dad rock. 🤦♂️
Tommy Shaw says a good song is like a straight road. 🛣️ This album is more like a dead end. ⛔ It’s their third album in eight years! They’re really churning out the hits, aren’t they? 💩
Evankovich (who apparently became an official member in 2022 – congrats? 🎉) says the band’s creative process is a “strange three-way democracy.” 🗳️ Sounds like a recipe for disaster. 🔥
The album cover features starlings in the shape of a bird flying over a dilapidated satellite dish. 🐦🛰️ “They’re prevailing and we’re failing,” says Evankovich. Yeah, because birds are known for their rock and roll prowess. 🎸
Tommy Shaw says there’s a lot of love, respect, and excitement in the band. ❤️ Sure, Jan. 🙄
So, there you have it. STYX is still alive (barely) and kicking (mostly arthritically). 🤕 Go watch the concert if you’re a masochist. 😈 Otherwise, listen to some actual good music. 🎶✌️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
