Iowa Opens Emergency Cooling Stations For Mayo-Based Dishes

Iowa Opens Emergency NIB IHA GR copy

    Read MoreThe OnionDES MOINES, IA—Rushing to deploy the temporary infrastructure as a heatwave enveloped the region, Iowa officials announced Monday that they would open emergency cooling stations to provide relief to mayo-based dishes. “Effective immediately, we’re installing portable air-conditioners and power misters across the state to ensure our mayonnaise-filled salads make it through this heatwave safely,” said Emergency
The post Iowa Opens Emergency Cooling Stations For Mayo-Based Dishes appeared first on The Onion.  

Finn

Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.

Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.

Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.

Leave a Reply