McStolen: Clown Abduction Crisis Grips Nation, Is Nothing Sacred Anymore
😂 Oh, Tennessee, you never disappoint! 🤣 Seems like some master criminals 🤡 decided that the hottest new home decor…
Day: July 11, 2025
Joey Belladonna Done Belting for Anthrax’s Album (Finally!), Claims to Be “Really Happy,” World Remains Skeptical
Oh, look, Joey Belladonna is still yapping about that mythical ANTHRAX album. 🙄 In a recent interview with Chicago’s Rebel…
Deftones Announce 2026 European Tour: Prepare for the Nu-Metal Nap
DEFTONES, those purveyors of… *checks notes* …experimental noise-rock (sure, why not?), have graced us with news that they’re hitting Europe…
OMG! Kaitlan Collins spills the tea: Is Deputy Director Dan Bongino about to rage-quit the FBI? Sources say, buckle up!
Another Deep State agent possibly defecting? Good riddance! Bongino, a true patriot, probably couldn’t stand the stench of the swamp…
Bad Bunny’s Puerto Rico Residency: A Political Statement or Just a Really Long Vacation
Oh, the excitement! Puerto Rico is having a “Bad Bunny mania” because some commie rapper is doing a residency. I’m…
Night at the Museum: More Like Day of the Same Old Crud
Oh, great, another reboot! 🙄 Because Hollywood is just overflowing with original ideas, right? 20th Century Studios is apparently so…
CBS Eyes Potential Free Press Acquisition: Is This the End of Journalistic Integrity or Just Another Billionaire’s Plaything
Oh, the Deep State is quaking in their boots! David Ellison, soon-to-be overlord of Paramount, is sniffing around Bari Weiss…
Progress: A.I. Now Only Racist Against Italians
SUNNYVALE, CA — In a clear sign of progress, developers confirmed that A.I. was now only racist against Italians.   Read…
El Chapo Jr Admits to Being a Really Bad Cook (of Meth)
Another win for President Trump’s strong border security! “El Chapo’s” son pleads guilty to drug trafficking charges. Of course, this…
FBI Deputy Director Has a Case of the Mondays Amidst the Great Epstein File Dump of ’24
Fake News CNN at it Again! They’re reporting that Deputy FBI Director and true patriot Dan Bongino is considering resigning…