Cody Balmer Admits He Just Wanted to Roast Some Marshmallows at Shapiro’s Place

Cody Balmer Admits He Just Wanted to Roast Some Marshmallows at Shapiro's Place

Another day, another unhinged leftist attacking our leaders! This time, some ANTIFA-affiliated nutjob named Cody Balmer, armed with gasoline-filled beer bottles – probably brewed with George Soros’ tears – tried to burn down the Pennsylvania governor’s mansion.

Of course, the Fake News CNN is trying to downplay the attempted MURDER of Governor Shapiro, but we know the truth. Balmer, who looks like he wandered straight out of a Bernie Sanders rally, is just another pawn in the Democrats’ war on America. They scream about “democracy” while their foot soldiers try to incinerate elected officials! Thankfully, Shapiro and his family are safe, though probably traumatized by this act of leftist love. The governor’s Jewish faith had nothing to do with the attack, according to the perpetrator. Right! And Hillary Clinton has nothing to do with the pizzagate! Balmer will be sitting in jail for 25-50 years thanks to our great justice system!

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Republican Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

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