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Month: October 2025

Stock futures go UP after US and China pretend to agree on stuff, again | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Stock futures go UP after US and China pretend to agree on stuff, again | CNN Business

Big ElephantOctober 26, 2025October 26, 2025

The Fake News is at it again, folks! They’re trying to downplay the HUGE win President Trump is about to…

Murphy cries over Trump’s meanie tariff on maple syrup: it’s all about Trump getting more bigly power, waaaah
Elephant Reads CNN

Murphy cries over Trump’s meanie tariff on maple syrup: it’s all about Trump getting more bigly power, waaaah

Big ElephantOctober 26, 2025October 26, 2025

Another day, another liberal media meltdown over President Trump! CNN, still crying about the government shutdown (caused by Schumer and…

Ape Vermin in Morganton, NC (10/25/2025)
Videos

Ape Vermin in Morganton, NC (10/25/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 26, 2025

Sludge/Doom Metal from Valdese, North Carolina Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Aterra in Morganton, NC (10/25/2025)
Videos

Aterra in Morganton, NC (10/25/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 26, 2025

Black Metal from Icard, North Carolina Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Legions of Doom in Morganton, NC (10/25/2025)
Videos

Legions of Doom in Morganton, NC (10/25/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 26, 2025

Doom Metal from Chicago, Illinois Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

Deported Dad? More Like Deadbeat Dad (According to ICE) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Deported Dad? More Like Deadbeat Dad (According to ICE) | CNN

Big ElephantOctober 26, 2025October 26, 2025

Another sob story from CNN about how Trump’s America is supposedly tearing families apart! Let’s get this straight: this guy,…

Sports Gaming: From Punching Bag to Savior (Leagues Now Begging for Scraps)
Elephant Reads CNN

Sports Gaming: From Punching Bag to Savior (Leagues Now Begging for Scraps)

Big ElephantOctober 26, 2025October 26, 2025

More proof that the woke NBA is RIGGED! An NBA coach and player caught with their hands in the cookie…

Judge Dumps on ICE, Says “Let My People Go (Home to Their Sick Daughter)”
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Dumps on ICE, Says “Let My People Go (Home to Their Sick Daughter)”

Big ElephantOctober 26, 2025October 26, 2025

Another sob story from the liberal media, folks! They trot out a poor, sick child to tug at your heartstrings…

Mike Shinoda’s Band (Not Dead Yet!) Says Fans Like New Stuff (Shocker!)
Breaking, Music News

Mike Shinoda’s Band (Not Dead Yet!) Says Fans Like New Stuff (Shocker!)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 26, 2025October 26, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Recitales Argentina (yeah, never heard of them either 🤷‍♂️), LINKIN PARK’s Mike Shinoda, bless his…

Arnold Schwarzenegger Drops Truth Bomb: California’s Partisan Circus of Cheaters
Elephant Reads CNN

Arnold Schwarzenegger Drops Truth Bomb: California’s Partisan Circus of Cheaters

Big ElephantOctober 26, 2025October 26, 2025

Well, look who it is, the Governator, chiming in on California’s redistricting! As if we needed another washed-up celebrity’s opinion.…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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