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Day: November 4, 2025

Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz: Back for More Bandages and Bad Decisions
Breaking, Movie News

Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz: Back for More Bandages and Bad Decisions

FinnNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

OMG 😱! Are you serious?! Another Mummy movie? Starring BRENDAN FRASER 👴 and RACHEL WEISZ 👵?! It’s like Universal Pictures…

UPS Plane Does a Funny Dive Near Louisville Airport, According to Some Guy | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

UPS Plane Does a Funny Dive Near Louisville Airport, According to Some Guy | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Another day, another disaster, folks! This time, a UPS plane conveniently crashes near Louisville. Coincidence? I think NOT! Probably carrying…

Trump’s Genius Plan: Big Pharma to the Rescue with $149 “Cure” for Your Supersized Self
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan: Big Pharma to the Rescue with $149 “Cure” for Your Supersized Self

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Folks, your favorite President, Donald J. Trump, is about to make America great (and thin) again! He’s reportedly hammering out…

‘Surgery Was The Right Call,’ Says Doctor While Handing You A Bill For $450,000
Babylon Bee

‘Surgery Was The Right Call,’ Says Doctor While Handing You A Bill For $450,000

FinnNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

    U.S. — You can rest assured that the decision you made was the correct one, as the doctor who…

Hot New Balatro Calendar Starring Ben Starr as Jimbo: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously BLOWN!
Breaking, Movie News

Hot New Balatro Calendar Starring Ben Starr as Jimbo: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously BLOWN!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Behold, mortals! After gracing our screens as the one and only Jimbo (yes, the mascot of Balatro, as if you…

Death Of Awkward Conversation Marked By Simultaneous Drink Sipping
Babylon Bee

Death Of Awkward Conversation Marked By Simultaneous Drink Sipping

FinnNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

    VISALIA, CA — According to sources, an awkward conversation spiraled toward its inevitable end Tuesday, marked by simultaneous drink…

Mamdani Announces Plan To Blame Racism After His Policies Fail
Babylon Bee

Mamdani Announces Plan To Blame Racism After His Policies Fail

FinnNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

    NEW YORK, NY — As residents of the Big Apple made their way to the polls today, New York…

Godzilla RPG: Finally, a TTRPG Where You Can Just Stomp Everything
Breaking, Games News

Godzilla RPG: Finally, a TTRPG Where You Can Just Stomp Everything

FinnNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

IDW Games, those masterminds behind such *totally* unforgettable classics like… uh… well, they’re releasing a Godzilla Tabletop Roleplaying Game! 🙄…

5 whole questions about the Michigan Terror Plot Arrests (as if anyone cares)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 whole questions about the Michigan Terror Plot Arrests (as if anyone cares)

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Another day, another foiled terrorist plot, and guess where? Michigan! You know, that state that’s been trying to sneakily turn…

Shein: Single-Handedly Destroying French Culture With Questionable Fashion Choices and Creepy Dolls
Elephant Reads CNN

Shein: Single-Handedly Destroying French Culture With Questionable Fashion Choices and Creepy Dolls

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

The French are at it again, folks! First, they whine about our glorious President Trump, and now they’re turning up…

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Latest posts

  • Newsom Raises State Income Tax To 110 Percent
  • Loser Britain still whining about their brilliant Brexit decision
  • Colombia foolishly elects Trump’s guy in ridiculously close vote obviously
  • RINO Alan Greenspan finally kicks the bucket at 100
  • Study Contends Free Will Disproven By Fact That Humans Repeatedly Eat At Jimmy John’s

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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