🚨 BREAKING: Tiny Humans Can Now Enter Con for Free (If They’re Chaperoned by a Grownup Who Probably Regrets It) 🚨
Kids 12 and under get in free… but only if they’re tethered to a responsible adult (one kid per badge, because chaos has limits). Want your mini-me to actually compete? Buy them a badge. Want them to just vibe? They can tag along under your ticket. But heads up: they must be supervised at ALL TIMES, because we all know what happens when you leave a tween unattended near free swag. Kids 13+? Pay up, you’re officially an adult now. 💸👶🎮
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
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