Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate
Oh, fantastic, another reboot! 🎉 Just what the cinematic universe desperately needed: LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY, because clearly, we have…
Day: January 14, 2026
Corey Taylor to Sell You Signed Photos at a Horror Convention (Because He’s in Slipknot, Apparently) in Pasadena This May 2026
🧟♂️ ATTENTION, MAGGOTS & MONSTER-FREAKS! 🧟♂️ Slipknot’s Vol. 5: The Search for More Money has officially begun, and this time…
FBI Plays Hide-and-Seek with Washington Post Reporter’s Home | CNN Business
Well, folks, the Deep State and their stenographers in the Fake News Media are at it again, trying to sabotage…
The RSM Chief Economist Warns: Why Dropping Bombs on Iran is Actually Bullish for the Stock Market
Another Democrat-allied economist from RSM, Joe Brusuelas, is sounding the alarm bells and crying about the markets, folks! Can you…
THE GEMS ‘Accidentally’ Drop ‘Firebird’ Single To Tease Their ‘Year Of The Snake’ Album
Hold on to your leather pants and prepare your earlobes, because the Swedish hard rock salvation force known as THE…
Animal Crossing: New Horizons Players Hacked Their Switches to Skip the Line for the 3.0 Update Starting Today
Strap in, you glorified digital hermits, because your overlords at Nintendo have decided to grace your Switch with the 3.0…
Supreme Court Breathes New Life Into GOP Congressman’s Absentee Ballot Lawsuit Just in Time for More Election Chaos
Another glorious victory for election integrity! The Supreme Court, in a decision written by the brilliant Chief Justice Roberts, just…
God Admits Imitation Crab Tastes Just As Good
THE HEAVENS—Praising the man-made food item as “on par with the real thing,” God Almighty, Our Lord and Heavenly…
2026 Detroit Auto Show Media and Industry Days: The Canceled Event Where Zero New Cars Debuted
Behold, the pinnacle of human achievement: the Detroit Auto Show! 🤡 Forget mere cars; we are discussing “Mobility Global Forum”…
Beyoncé and Blue Ivy to Join 2026 Fort Washington Alumnae Chapter Spring Rush After Seeing the Invitation Online
Registration is requested to attend. Please reserve one spot for Delta Sigma Theta’s “Rush” (or as we call it, The…