Democrats Say Things Would Be Much Safer If Law Enforcement Would Just Stop Trying To Enforce The Law
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following recent ICE-related shootings, Democrat leaders stepped forward to remind the nation that everything would be…
Month: January 2026
LITA FORD Hopes To Release Her Long-Awaited New LP By May 2026: ‘The Whole Album Is A Theme’, She Says
🎸 Lita Ford: The Queen of Rock’s 2026 Album Release Is Coming… Or Is It? Spoiler: It’s Not. But the…
Fox News Sends Trump Quarterly Tithe Of 3 Blond Anchors
WASHINGTON—Saying the sumptuous gift should slake the administration’s thirst for the next few months, Fox News sent President Donald…
Whistleblowing for Dummies: How to Rat Out Your Boss Without Getting Fired (or at Least Do It From Your PJs)
🚨 Calling all whistleblowers and secret keepers! 🚨 The WA government is hosting a “how to handle secrets like a…
Digging Up Great-Grandpa’s War Stories So You Can One-Up Your Cousins at Thanksgiving
Attention, history nerds and genealogy gremlins! 🧬💥 The National Archives is hosting a *thrilling* webinar on how to stalk your…
jackzebra, Dragnutz, 7038634357, Elipropperr: The Most Mysterious Band in History Finally Revealed
🚨 ATTENTION HUMANS: Bring your REAL ID or your passport, not a doodle on a napkin! 🚨 Elsewhere’s vibe is…
Chicago Shamrock Crawl – Wrigleyville’s St. Patrick’s Day Bar Crawl 25+Bars – Because Who Needs a Liver After March 17
The Emerald City of Wrigleyville is under a leprechaun curse this March 17th, forcing locals to abandon their dignity and…
Max B’s MLK Weekend Pop-Up at Polygon Promises Free Entry—Just RSVP and Hope Your Name Isn’t on a No-Fly List
🚨BREAKING: Max B Invades Brooklyn Like a Hip-Hop Messiah Returning From Exile! 🚨 Get ready to witness history, suckers! Max…
The Art of Business Networking
Welcome to The Art of Business Networking—where Zoom backgrounds are fancier than your résumé and “connection” means more than just…
IN-PERSON: Talk & Tour at GIANT Willow Grove 1/20 – Because Nothing Says Fun Like Grocery Store Small Talk
🚨 BREAKING: Protein and Fiber to Save Humanity from Hunger! 🚨 On Tuesday, January 20th at 10:30am, our dietitian will…