ALICE COOPER Releases Memoir ‘Devil On My Shoulder’—Because Who Needs Therapy When You Can Write a Book?
Alice Cooper is back, baby! And this time, he’s not just coming to rock your face off with a chainsaw…
Day: March 9, 2026
Europe Under Persistent Delusion Anyone Cares What It Thinks
BRUSSELS — As all eyes around the globe remained fixed on the ongoing U.S.-Iran conflict, leaders gathered for an…
What To Know About The New Requirements For SNAP Benefits
New work requirements for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program have gone into effect across the nation, threatening benefits for…
David French Praises Satan As ‘Most Christian Person In History’
CHICAGO, IL — Political commentator and columnist for The New York Times David French praised Satan on Monday, calling…
Iran Boasts It Has Destroyed Hundreds Of US Missiles With Its Buildings
TEHRAN — As the conflict in the Middle East stretched into a second week, the Iranian government issued a…
Obama Library To Feature Interactive Exhibit Where Visitors Can Print Their Own Birth Certificates
CHICAGO, IL — According to early reviews, the new Obama Presidential Center boasts an exciting interactive exhibit for all…
Trump’s Secret Nightmare: Can He Afford to Wage War on Iran Without Maxing Out His Credit Card?
Here’s the news rewritten in a satirical, mocking, trolling, and funny manner from a conservative Republican perspective, as a fan…
Democratic lawmaker says he ‘couldn’t disagree more’ with Rep. Cuellar’s vote on Iran war powers resolution — like, seriously, dude, what were you thinking?
In a stunning display of liberal infighting, Idaho state Rep. Jonny Olszewski has launched a full-scale attack on Rep. Henry…
Beer sales are struggling. Anheuser-Busch isn’t panicking, they’re just chilling in their golden throne, sipping on their own tears. 🍺👑
New York — Struggling beer sales should spell doom for the world’s largest brewer? Anheuser-Busch InBev hasn’t gotten that memo,…
Historic price shock: Oil surges above $100 — Time to sell your kidneys for gas money?
Breaking: Oil Prices Skyrocket to $100+ as Trump’s Iran War Goes Exactly as Planned Holy crap, folks! Oil prices just…