PIKEVILLE, KY—Speculating that a new path in life might improve his job prospects, unemployed man Ian Hampel, 36, told reporters Tuesday that he was considering going back to school to become an AI. “I can see the writing on the wall: If I want to stay relevant in the workforce, I’m going to need to go back to college and turn into an artificial intelligence,” said Hampel, who had already begun looking into degree programs that could prepare him for work as a large language model or an autonomous agent. “I know pivoting later in life is a risk, but I honestly think I’d be good at predicting the next word in a sequence by processing huge sums of information. Plus, I already hallucinate a lot, and I’ve even convinced a guy to kill himself. Sure, it’s not really my passion. But at the end of the day, the market is the market.” According to reports, Hampel later realized he didn’t need any more schooling to become an erotic AI sexbot.
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PIKEVILLE, KY—Speculating that a new path in life might improve his job prospects, unemployed man Ian Hampel, 36, told reporters Tuesday that he was considering going back to school to become an AI. “I can see the writing on the wall: If I want to stay relevant in the workforce, I’m going to need to
The post Unemployed Man Considers Going Back To School To Become AI appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.