STANFORD, CA—Issuing a stern reminder to all concert attendees, event security staff warned BTS fans Tuesday evening that flash photography would trigger J-Hope’s assassination protocol. “Have your tickets ready, keys and phones out of your pockets, and—this part is very important, so please listen up—make sure flash settings on your phones and cameras are off, ” said a security staffer positioned near the entrance to the stadium, who shouted out the instructions to make sure all fans had a fun, safe, and secret South Korean military weapon–free night. “Trust me, you don’t want to activate J-Hope’s attack mode. He’s stronger than an elephant and faster than lightning. And official light sticks only, please. We don’t want a repeat of what happened in Tampa.” Security officials also reminded fans there would be no refunds in the event J-Hope snapped their necks.
The post BTS Fans Warned Flash Photography Will Trigger J-Hope’s Assassination Protocol appeared first on The Onion.
STANFORD, CA—Issuing a stern reminder to all concert attendees, event security staff warned BTS fans Tuesday evening that flash photography would trigger J-Hope’s assassination protocol. “Have your tickets ready, keys and phones out of your pockets, and—this part is very important, so please listen up—make sure flash settings on your phones and cameras are off, ”
The post BTS Fans Warned Flash Photography Will Trigger J-Hope’s Assassination Protocol appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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