New Yorkers Excited To See How Never-Before-Tried Government Called ‘Socialism’ Turns Out
NEW YORK, NY — Citizens of New York are reportedly excited to see how this brand-new, never-before-tried system of…
Month: June 2026
Avengers Endgame Now With 100 More Minutes of Tony Stark Looking Sad and Brooding
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🎉🍿 Marvel is re-releasing Avengers: Endgame in theaters, because you…
You Won’t Believe Who Trump Chatted With Right Before That Settlement
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Live Nation’s CEO, Michael Rapino, had a chat with President Donald…
In Powerful Act Of Protest, Liberals Begin Adding Algae To Drinking Water
U.S. — In a powerful showing of solidarity with the algae discoloring the newly-renovated Reflecting Pool, liberals across the…
Meta’s AI Glasses Get Cheapening Facelift and Desperate Celebrity Endorsement
Because apparently we haven’t milked the whole smart glasses thing enough yet, Meta has announced a new initiative for its…
William Shatner to Embark on Ambitious Live Tour Because You Clearly Needed This in Your Life
I just spilled my beer all over my shirt while reading that William Shatner, the 95-year-old legend behind Captain James…
Al-Qaeda Wins New York Primary
NEW YORK, NY — Almost 25 years after it successfully flew two jetliners into the Twin Towers, killing thousands…
Why Hollywood Keeps Rebooting Everything
Or: How an Industry With Infinite Creativity Decided to Bet the Farm on Stuff You Already Watched Twenty Years Ago…
Judge Stomps on Feds Over Trans Kids’ Med Records
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a federal judge who has temporarily blocked the Trump administration from getting…
New ‘Jackass’ Trailer Shows Aging Johnny Knoxville Trying To Climb Staircase Without Handrail
LOS ANGELES—Enticing fans with the promise of the franchise’s most dangerous stunt yet, a new trailer for Jackass: Best…