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Month: July 2026

Eagles Extend Las Vegas Residency Through December 2026
Live, Music News

Eagles Extend Las Vegas Residency Through December 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

The Eagles have once again extended their residency at Sphere in Las Vegas. Now serving as the venue’s longest-running residency…

U.S. Back In World Cup After Trump Deports Belgian Team
Babylon Bee

U.S. Back In World Cup After Trump Deports Belgian Team

FinnJuly 7, 2026

    U.S. — The United States Men’s National Team was officially placed back in the World Cup after President Donald…

ASIA somehow still exists and made another album called Indigo
Breaking, Music News

ASIA somehow still exists and made another album called Indigo

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

Breaking News: ASIA is Back, Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Prog Rock in Your Life 🙄 In a shocking…

Kids More Discerning Than Hollywood Execs Review Minions & Monsters
Breaking, Movie News

Kids More Discerning Than Hollywood Execs Review Minions & Monsters

FinnJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

The Minions Have Conquered the Box Office, But Can They Conquer Our Hearts (And Also, Do They Have Genitals?) Well,…

Danny Elfman saves rock music with upcoming tour apparently nobody asked for
Breaking, Live, Music News

Danny Elfman saves rock music with upcoming tour apparently nobody asked for

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

Oh boy, oh boy! Get ready for the most epic tour of 2026, folks! 🤩 Danny Elfman, the mastermind behind…

Prong Drops New Self Titled Album
Live, Music News

Prong Drops New Self Titled Album

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 7, 2026

Prong have announced a new self-titled album, due out November 6th via their new label Napalm Records. It marks the…

Nintendo Peddles More Anime Depth Charging
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Peddles More Anime Depth Charging

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

I just spent the most exhausting 2.5 hours of my life at the Nintendo appointment at Summer Game Fest 2026,…

Royal Loses Fight To Keep Private Life Private Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Royal Loses Fight To Keep Private Life Private Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama across the pond, where the Duke of Sussex, aka…

Toddler Defies Death, Parents Might Not Be So Lucky
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Toddler Defies Death, Parents Might Not Be So Lucky

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading this crazy story about a toddler who was declared dead, only to be…

Garth Brooks Returns With New Arena Tour And Iconic Drum Pod
Live, Music News

Garth Brooks Returns With New Arena Tour And Iconic Drum Pod

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 7, 2026

Garth Brooks has announced a brand new tour called “Blame It All On My Roots,” which will see the country…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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