Burning Witches Ditches Singer Because Vocals Were Too On Fire

Oh no, the sky is falling! 🌪️ Burning Witches has parted ways with their singer Laura Guldemond, and I’m totally not overreacting to this news 😱. I mean, it’s not like I had to rewrite my entire music playlist or anything… But seriously, folks, this is some big news in the metal world. The multi-national traditional/power metal collective has announced that Guldemond has decided to leave the band, and I’m still trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart 💔. The band released a statement saying they’ve talked things through and tried to find a way forward together, but ultimately, they have to respect and accept her decision. Because, you know, sometimes even the most magical journeys come to an end 🧙‍♀️.

The band has already announced that Jennifer Gruber of Fireborn will be temporarily replacing Guldemond on the road, because why not? I mean, it’s not like they have a bunch of other talented vocalists to choose from or anything… 🙄. But hey, Gruber is a great singer, and I’m sure she’ll do just fine. The band is also auditioning for a new permanent frontwoman, because they want to take Burning Witches to the next level 🚀. Yeah, good luck with that. I’m sure it’ll be a totally smooth and drama-free process 🙃.

The Burning Witches Legacy

So, let’s take a look back at Guldemond’s time with the band. She joined in June 2019, replacing Seraina Telli, and made her live debut at the Sweden Rock Festival. Since then, she’s been a part of some amazing albums, including their sixth studio album “Inquisition”, which was released in August 2025 via Napalm Records. That album was produced by Damir Eskic and V.O. Pulver, and shaped by the songwriting of founding guitarist Romana Kalkuhl. Yeah, it’s a real masterpiece 🎸. I mean, who needs a singer when you have a great guitarist, right? 🤣.

But seriously, Guldemond has been an integral part of the band’s sound and success, and she will be missed 🙏. In a separate statement, she said she’s made the heartfelt decision to step down as the band’s singer, and that she’s immensely proud of everything they accomplished together. Aww, it’s like a metal band breakup, but without all the drama and angst 🤷‍♀️. She also wished the band all the best moving forward and asked fans to respect her decision. Because, you know, fans can be really understanding and not at all toxic or anything 🙄.

The Future of Burning Witches

So, what’s next for Burning Witches? Well, they have a bunch of shows lined up, including a concert at the Metal At Lust festival in Malta on November 7. And with Gruber on board, they’ll surely continue to bring their unique brand of metal magic to the stage 🔮. I mean, it’s not like they’ll just phone it in or anything 📞. The band is also excited to focus on their music and embrace whatever creative adventures come their way next. Because, you know, that’s exactly what they need – more creative adventures 🎨. I’m sure it’ll be a totally smooth transition and not at all a desperate attempt to cling to relevance 🙅‍♂️.

In all seriousness, though, Burning Witches is a great band, and I’m sure they’ll continue to make awesome music with or without Guldemond. I mean, they’re not exactly a one-woman show or anything 🎤. So, let’s all just take a deep breath and remember that sometimes change can be a good thing 🌟. Unless, of course, you’re a die-hard fan of Guldemond’s vocals, in which case you’re probably totally devastated 😭. But hey, at least you can still listen to their old albums and reminisce about the good old days 📀. And who knows, maybe their next album will be even better than “Inquisition” 🤔. Yeah, right, because that’s exactly what they need – more pressure to perform 🤯.

Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”

Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.

Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.