Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Wisconsin congressman Tom Tiffany had quite the Saturday night, making an emergency landing on Lake Wausau in central Wisconsin. I mean, who needs a smooth flight when you can take a dip in the lake, right? Tiffany was on his way back from the La Crosse County Lincoln Day Dinner, because what’s a little politics without a side of aquatic adventure?
Tiffany took to X to share his harrowing tale, explaining that the plane lost power as it approached Wausau Downtown Airport. Now, I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure planes are supposed to stay in the air, not take an impromptu swim. The pilot, bless their hearts, made an emergency water landing, and Tiffany and the pilot called 911 because, well, that’s what you do when you’re stuck in a sinking plane.
As the plane began to submerge, Tiffany and the pilot exited the aircraft and swam to a shallow area, where they waited for emergency responders. I can only imagine the conversation: “Hey, pilot, nice landing… I guess?” The Wausau Fire Department and first responders came to their aid, and Tiffany expressed his gratitude, saying, “I want to express my deepest gratitude to the pilot, the Wausau Fire Department, and all of the first responders who came to our aid so quickly.” Yeah, I’d be grateful too if I didn’t have to swim to shore in my Sunday best.
The Marathon County Sheriff’s Office told CNN affiliate WSAW that the plane will be marked with a buoy, and people are asked to stay away. Because, you know, we wouldn’t want anyone trying to salvage the plane for scrap metal or something. The Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources and State Patrol also responded to the scene, and the investigation will be handed over to the Federal Aviation Administration. I’m sure it’ll be a real thrilling investigation, full of twists and turns… or not.
In dispatch audio obtained by CNN, authorities mention someone inside the plane made a 911 call, and later, an official confirms two people inside the plane had been rescued. One official is heard telling dispatchers, “Boat heads back to landing with two victims. Both are alert and conscious.” I’m no expert, but I think that’s code for “they’re shaken but alive.”
Tiffany’s opponent in the governor’s race, David Crowley, sent his well-wishes, saying he was “grateful to God that Congressman Tiffany and no one else was hurt in this horrifying incident.” Yeah, it’s always nice when politicians can put aside their differences and be civil, especially when someone’s had a close call.
In the end, Tiffany and the pilot are safe, and that’s all that matters. As Tiffany said, “God was watching over us tonight, and I am incredibly grateful to be here in the hospital with my wife, Chris, by my side.” And I’m sure his wife is grateful he didn’t come home with a bunch of lake weed in his hair. All joking aside, it’s a relief that everyone is safe, and I’m sure this is a story Tiffany won’t be forgetting anytime soon. And who knows, maybe he’ll even get some great campaign material out of it – “Vote for me, and I’ll make sure our planes stay in the air!”
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
