TRAP & R&B NIGHT: WHERE MIDTOWN’S “FINEST” COME TO VIBE (OR CRINGE) 🎵💀
THIS EVENT PROMISES THE “BEST” TRAP & R&B… OR JUST THE LOUDEST. OPEN TO THE PUBLIC (IF YOU’RE 21+ AND STILL GO OUT 😂). DANCE FLOOR? YES. BUYING SECTIONS? NOPE—JUST TEXT “OPIUM” TO 404.386.1888 IF YOU’RE FANCY 🍾.
FREE ENTRY TIL MIDNIGHT (WITH RSVP, AKA THE “I’M CHEAP” PASS). CELEBRATING? THEY’LL MAKE A SIGN… FOR YOUR BOTTLE SERVICE (BECAUSE MONEY TALKS 📢).
VIP? SAME NUMBER, SAME DESPERATION. TEXT “OPIUM” TO 404.386.1888. 🚨
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
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