**LAST CHANCE TO SEE G HERBO BEFORE HE FORGETS THE LYRICS!** 🎤😂
**SATURDAY NIGHT @ SEKAI** (because weekdays are for peasants)
**AGE 18+** (sorry, your 16-year-old cousin who swears he’s mature)
🚨 **SECTIONS SOLD OUT** 🚨 (but standing room available for the brave souls)
**NO SECTION NEEDED** (just bring your dignity and a charged phone)
**TEXT 786.390.3340** (yes, someone will actually reply… probably)
**PRICES HIGHER AT THE DOOR** (because inflation hates you)
🎟️ **OFFICIAL TICKET LINK** → [BUY NOW OR CRY LATER](https://springbreakhtx.eventbrite.com/)
**HOUSTON SPRING BREAK 2026** (where dreams come to party and livers come to die)
*PS: Arrive early or forever hold your spot in the back.* 👀🍻
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
