SAN JOSE, CA—With his explanation collapsing within seconds under the scrutiny of his parents, local toddler Timmy Herman reportedly felt the walls closing in on him Thursday after he claimed the TV broke itself. “So you’re telling me you just walked into the living room and the TV shattered all on its own?” said the toddler’s mom, Sandra, furrowing her brow while retrieving a red plastic triceratops from behind the smashed LCD. “And this toy dinosaur—your favorite toy dinosaur, which we’ve repeatedly warned you not to throw inside the house—was already under a pile of broken glass when you got here? Hmm. That’s interesting. Very interesting. It’s just that your father and I have never heard of a TV destroying itself like that before. Have you? It doesn’t seem like something that happens very often.” At press time, a terrified Timmy was struggling to articulate how the carpet had doused itself in pee.
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SAN JOSE, CA—With his explanation collapsing within seconds under the scrutiny of his parents, local toddler Timmy Herman reportedly felt the walls closing in on him Thursday after he claimed the TV broke itself. “So you’re telling me you just walked into the living room and the TV shattered all on its own?” said the
The post Walls Closing In On Toddler Who Claimed TV Broke Itself appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
