BRANDON SALLER Finally Figures Out How To Shut Up The Haters By Joining ATREYU And Now Everyone Loves Him Totally Not Jealous At All
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some juicy gossip and drama from the metal music scene? 🤘🎸 Because I’ve…
Day: April 6, 2026
Marvel Zombies Season 2 Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Brain Eating Superheroes in Your Life Yet
The superpowered undead are back, because you clearly didn’t have enough zombie-filled nightmares 🧠💀. Disney+’s Marvel Zombies is officially rising…
Next-Door Neighbor Either Doing Very Well Financially Or In Massive Amounts Of Debt
   SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local man Tony Flanders noted that, by the looks of it, his next-door neighbor…
BUCKCHERRY Has Already Written Seven Songs For Twelfth Studio Album Because Apparently The World Was Missing More Of Their Unique Brand Of Faceless Hard Rock
In a shocking turn of events, BUCKCHERRY’s lead vocalist Josh Todd has announced that the band is already working on…
We Sacrificed Our Taste Buds to the Dark Lord of Overhyped Candy and Checked Out Those Ridiculously Overpriced Harry Potter Butterbeer Peeps
Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat today! I’m about to review the most epic, the most legendary,…
Critics Outraged By Flippant School Shooting Plotline In ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’
      NEW YORK—Describing the new film’s narrative choices as recklessly exploitative given the current climate, critics blasted The Super Mario…
France Questions How Rescue Mission Considered A Success When No One Surrendered To The Nazis
   PARIS — On Monday, French officials questioned how the United States could classify the airman rescue mission a success…
Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum
      WASHINGTON—Threatening to continue issuing threats if the Islamic Republic did not quickly agree to his demands, President Donald Trump…
Baseball Traditionalists Long For Good Ol’ Days Of Games Being Decided By Horrifically Bad Calls
   U.S. — The installation of the Automated Ball-Strike System in Major League Baseball has left traditionalists longing for the…
Downed F-15 Pilot Asks Rescuers If They Can Go Back For His AirPods Real Quick
   KOHGILUYEH — A thankful F-15 weapons systems officer reportedly asked his rescuers if he could go back to the…