Okay, so like, 🙄 Josh Freese, who apparently thought he was hot stuff, 🙄 has graced us with a list of “Top 10 possible reasons” he got the boot from the Foo Fighters. Like, duh, we all knew this was coming. Did anyone REALLY think he’d last? 😂
So, yeah, three whole days after Mr. Session Veteran (who, let’s be real, peaked in THE VANDALS 🤣) announced he was unemployed, he decided to bless us with his comedic genius. Because, you know, drumming for GUNS N’ ROSES, A PERFECT CIRCLE, and DEVO wasn’t enough validation. He NEEDED the Foos. 🙄 Anyway, he promised a list, and by golly, he delivered! Prepare to be underwhelmed! 😴
Here it is, folks. Brace yourselves for the hilarity:
10) Once whistled “My Hero” for a week solid on tour. (OMG, the horror! 😱 Can you imagine? Someone actually LIKES one of their songs! The audacity!)
9) Could only name one FUGAZI song. (Well, maybe if they weren’t so obscure, he’d know more! 🤷♂️)
8) Two words: polyrhythms. (Ugh, showoff! Stick to the basics, dude! 🥁)
7) Metronome-like precision behind the kit deemed “soulless.” (So, you’re TOO good? Is that even a thing? 🤔)
6) Demanded starting every rehearsal with a 20-minute cowbell sound bath. (Okay, I kinda wanna see that. 🐄 But still, get a grip!)
5) Never even once tried growing a beard. (Seriously? This is a requirement for rock stardom! 🧔 Get with the program!)
4) Didn’t show up to studio because Mercury was in retrograde. (Astrology? In MY Foo Fighters? 🙅♀️ Unacceptable!)
3) Promised Noodles [THE OFFSPRING] he could be 4th guitarist. (Loyalty, people! Where’s the loyalty?! 😠)
2) Refused to perform unless he was guaranteed a Ouija board and nunchucks after every show. (Okay, now he’s just messing with us. 🤣)
1) The whole poodle thing was getting to be a bit much (Poodles? What poodles? 🐩 Is this some weird drummer inside joke? 🤪)
So, after a whole TWO YEARS of filling in for the irreplaceable Taylor Hawkins (RIP 🙏), Freese took to Instagram to whine about how the Foos dumped him without a reason. 💔 “Oh, the injustice!” he probably sobbed into his artisanal drumsticks. He added, “Stay tuned for my ‘Top 10 possible reasons Josh got booted from the FOO FIGHTERS‘ list.” (Because, you know, we were all DYING to know. 🙄)
Here’s his full, dramatic statement:
“The FOO FIGHTERS called me Monday night to let me know they’ve decided ‘to go in a different direction with their drummer.’ No reason was given. :(” (Awww, poor baby! 😢)
“Regardless, I enjoyed the past two years with them, both on and off stage, and I support whatever they feel is best for the band.” (Yeah, sure you do. 🙄)
“In my 40 years of drumming professionally, I’ve never been let go from a band, so while I’m not angry just a bit shocked and disappointed. But as most of you know I’ve always worked freelance and bounced between bands so, I’m fine.” (Translation: “I’m totally fine! I’m not crying, you’re crying! 😭”)
“Stay tuned for my ‘Top 10 possible reasons Josh got booted from the FOO FIGHTERS‘ list.” (Again, because we’re all on the edge of our seats. 🙄)
Back in April 2024, he yapped to some YouTuber named Rick Beato about how he supposedly “landed” the Foos gig. He was all like, “OMG, I had NO IDEA they’d call ME! Everyone was asking, but I was like, ‘Nah, they probably won’t continue.’ But then Dave called, and I was all, ‘OMG, what if he wants me to play drums?'” (Yeah, we get it, you’re humble. 🙄)
He went on and on about how he didn’t want to be THAT GUY who begs for the job, blah blah blah. Then, Christmas 2022, Dave called! 📞 And they talked about Santa and hard-to-shop-for kids. 🎅🎁 And THEN Dave dropped the bomb: “We want you to be the guy.” 🤯 And Josh was all, “OMG, I was socked in the stomach! I didn’t even get excited!” (Sure, Jan. 🙄)
He kept rambling about how he had to think about it and how Dave played him the new record. And even then, Josh was all, “You know you’ve gotta do this, right?” (As if he had a choice. 😂)
Freese droned on about how he couldn’t refuse Dave because Dave is such a “bad motherfucker” and a “drummer’s drummer.” 🙄 He even brought up Taylor Hawkins and how much Taylor loved Dave’s drumming. (Cue the waterworks. 😭)
More blah blah blah about how Dave’s rhythm is amazing and how it’s never nerve-racking to play with him. “It’s just all good stuff!” (Until it wasn’t. 😂)
Remember that pre-tour livestream where they unveiled Freese as the new drummer? Yeah, that was a whole thing. They had comedic cameos by Chad Smith, Tommy Lee, and Danny Carey. (Because nothing says “respectful tribute” like a bunch of drum gods making jokes. 🤦♀️)
Before the Foos, Freese was slumming it with Danny Elfman and THE OFFSPRING. (Talk about a diverse resume. 🤪) And he’s played with everyone from GUNS N’ ROSES to PUDDLE OF MUDD to NINE INCH NAILS to WEEZER to PARAMORE to Sting. (Basically, he’s the Forrest Gump of drumming. 🪖)
So, yeah, that’s the Josh Freese saga. Will the Foos find a new drummer? Will Freese find another gig? Will we ever stop missing Taylor Hawkins? Stay tuned to find out! (Or don’t. We won’t judge. 😉)
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
