We Asked 12 Public Figures What They’re Thankful For This Year. Here’s What They Said
It’s the fourth week of November, which means it’s time for us all to do a little introspection and consider…
Category: Babylon Bee
Even Better Film Adaptation Of Lord of the Rings Will Just Be An Old British Guy Reading The Books Out Loud For 56 Hours
HOLLYWOOD, CA — While Peter Jackson’s stirring movies have become one of the most popular film adaptations of any book…
‘I Sure Love Pumpkin Pie,’ Says Man Spraying Gallon Of Reddi-Whip Over Pumpkin Pie
TOLEDO, OH — Local man Jacob Nicholson repeatedly declared his love for pumpkin pie today while covering a 12-inch pie…
Hungover Kamala Harris Gets Sinking Feeling While Checking If She Drunk-Posted Anything Yesterday
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Nursing a vicious hangover, Vice President Kamala Harris began to get a sinking feeling as she pulled…
Kamala Officially Unburdened By Sobriety
U.S. — Vice President Kamala Harris released a video to let followers know that with the Presidential race over, she…
9 Things Public Schools Won’t Tell You About The First Thanksgiving
It’s Thanksgiving week, which brings back memories of what you learned in school about the first Thanksgiving, where pilgrim settlers…
12-Year-Old Jesus Amazes Temple Teachers By Completing Cracker Barrel Peg Game On First Try
JERUSALEM — The temple scribes and teachers were left in dumbfounded awe as a young boy from Nazareth named Jesus…
Trump Announces Plan To Deport 5,000 Illegal Immigrants In One Pre-Owned Honda Civic Hatchback
PALM BEACH, FL — As the public awaited the changes that come along with the transition to a new presidential…
Report: Kamala’s 2028 Campaign Already $700 Million In Debt
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President Kamala Harris’s potential second attempt at the White House hit a disappointing obstacle this week,…
Gregorian Monks Now Offer Second Sunday Service With Upbeat Contemporary Chants
STEUBENVILLE, OH — Modern-minded parishioners of St. Peter’s, a church connected to a Benedictine monastery, were pleased to hear that…