Skip to content
logo4

Jackal.Today

News that makes you want to howl!

  • Home
  • Breaking
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Sport News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Advertise with us!
  • Editorial
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Music News

Heimat: Because Where Else Would You Pretend to Be From?
Breaking, Music News

Heimat: Because Where Else Would You Pretend to Be From?

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2025June 24, 2025

HEAVEN SHALL BURN, those guys? Oh, you mean the German band that thinks they’re, like, totally important? 😂 Yeah, they’re…

Mick Wall’s Heart Goes Boom Again, Please Donate (Or Don’t, We’re Not Your Boss)
Breaking, Music News

Mick Wall’s Heart Goes Boom Again, Please Donate (Or Don’t, We’re Not Your Boss)

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2025June 25, 2025

Oh, the sweet sounds of desperation! A fundraising campaign has been launched for the one and only Mick Wall, the…

The Offspring FINALLY Acknowledge Brazil With a Music Video (Took ‘Em Long Enough)
Breaking, Music News

The Offspring FINALLY Acknowledge Brazil With a Music Video (Took ‘Em Long Enough)

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2025June 24, 2025

California punk rock dinosaurs THE OFFSPRING, who somehow haven’t fossilized yet, are still milking their ancient fanbase. Today, they unleashed…

Mike Portnoy Credits Lars Ulrich as a “Big Influence,” World Laughs, Drummers Faint
Breaking, Music News

Mike Portnoy Credits Lars Ulrich as a “Big Influence,” World Laughs, Drummers Faint

Chord F. DiscordJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with the intellectual powerhouse known as El Estepario Siberiano, DREAM THEATER’s resident drum-twirling wizard, Mike Portnoy,…

GWAR’s Geriatric ‘Return Of Gor Gor’ Tour: Sponsored by Depends, Featuring Bands You’ve (Probably) Never Heard Of
Breaking, Music News

GWAR’s Geriatric ‘Return Of Gor Gor’ Tour: Sponsored by Depends, Featuring Bands You’ve (Probably) Never Heard Of

Chord F. DiscordJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

OMG 😱, you guys, like, GWAR, those totally underground 🙄 shock rockers, are doing this thing called “The Return of…

IN THIS MOMENT announces fall 2025 ‘Black Mass Tour’ – with DAYSEEKER (who?), THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT (are they even still around?) and DED (oh, right, those guys)
Breaking, Music News

IN THIS MOMENT announces fall 2025 ‘Black Mass Tour’ – with DAYSEEKER (who?), THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT (are they even still around?) and DED (oh, right, those guys)

Chord F. DiscordJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

OMG! 😱 Get ready to clutch your pearls, folks, because IN THIS MOMENT, those purveyors of… uh… *theatrical* rock (yeah,…

Nickelback Played at Office, YouTube Instantly Nukes Nuclear Blast Channel
Nickelback Destroys Metal Empire: YouTube Nukes Nuclear Blast Records Channel After Janitor’s Fatal Music Choice
Music News

Nickelback Played at Office, YouTube Instantly Nukes Nuclear Blast Channel

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

The metal world just took a devastating blow straight to its face-piercing. Legendary heavy label Nuclear Blast Records — known…

Bryan Ferry and Amelia Barratt’s “Loose Talk”: More Like Loose Stool
Breaking, Music News

Bryan Ferry and Amelia Barratt’s “Loose Talk”: More Like Loose Stool

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, joy! 🙄 Bryan Ferry And Amelia Barratt – Loose Talk (BMG). Apparently, Bryan’s still alive. Who knew? So, Ferry’s first album…

UGLY KID JOE’s New Album Update: Still Not Done Yet, But Close (Maybe)
Breaking, Music News

UGLY KID JOE’s New Album Update: Still Not Done Yet, But Close (Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

In a recent, earth-shattering interview with Graspop Metal Meeting, the dynamic duo of UGLY KID JOE, Whitfield Crane (vocals, allegedly)…

Metallica’s ‘Hometown’ Concerts: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Their 2025 ‘M72’ Tour (Spoiler: They’re Still in San Francisco)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica’s ‘Hometown’ Concerts: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Their 2025 ‘M72’ Tour (Spoiler: They’re Still in San Francisco)

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

So, METALLICA’s tour coordinator, this dude Jon-Michael Marino (who?), gave KPIX (aka CBS Bay Area, which, let’s be honest, nobody…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 19 Next

Most Viewed Posts

  • Are You Sure This Is Linkin Park? Fans Claim New Song Sounds Like Paramore! 🎸 (1,336)
  • 😱 New Days of Thunder Sequel Set to Drive Woke Hollywood Wild! 🏁💥 (1,327)
  • Yoda Goes Black, Chewbacca’s New Pronouns: Lucasfilm’s Wild Plans for Star Wars 😱🌟 (1,277)
  • 🎮 BioWare’s «Mancleaners» and the New Woman Effect: A Look Inside the Studio’s Gender Revolution 💼 (1,120)
  • New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins (916)

Latest posts

  • Wolfie’s New Album: So Fresh, It’s Basically Still in Diapers
  • OMG! Republican Wannabes Hold Their Breath Waiting for Queen Lara’s Royal Decree in North Carolina Senate Race, CNN Whispers
  • Bush and Obama Cry Over Trump’s USAID Massacre on Its Deathbed
  • Idaho Killer Finally Agrees to a Plea Deal So He Doesn’t Have to Face the Music
  • Battlefield 6 Leak: Rush Mode Confirmed (Finally, Something We Asked For)

Archives

  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn McFrame October 8, 2024
Editorial
! Editorial strike2
Editorial

🔥 Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: «Too Much Money, Too Much Freedom — Enough Is Enough!»

Finn McFrame January 29, 2025
June 2025
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
« May    
Copyright © 2025 Jackal.Today | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}