Skip to content
logo4

Jackal.Today

News that makes you want to howl!

  • Home
  • Breaking
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Sport News
  • Advertise with us!
  • Editorial
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: The Onion

The Onion

Trump Admits Entire Political Career Has Been WWE Storyline To Set Up Match With Cody Rhodes

November 22, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionPALM BEACH, FL—Revealing that the stage was first set in 1999 with his short-lived Reform Party run, President-elect…

The Onion

Political Profile: Matt Gaetz

November 22, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionPresident-elect Donald Trump selected Matt Gaetz as his choice for attorney general. Here is what you need to…

The Onion

Dying Relative Sent Quick ‘How You Holding Up?’ Text

November 22, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Dying Relative Sent Quick ‘How You Holding Up?’ Text appeared first on The Onion.  

Biden Supplies Ukraine With Anti-Personnel Landmines
The Onion

Biden Supplies Ukraine With Anti-Personnel Landmines

November 21, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionPresident Joe Biden agreed to give Ukraine anti-personnel landmines, a move criticized by humanitarian organizations that’s seen as…

The Onion

Every Movement In Man’s Burrito-Eating Technique Informed By Past Burrito Tragedies

November 21, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionGLENDALE, CA—Rotating the tortilla-wrapped meal to consume the Mexican food in even levels, eyewitnesses reported Thursday that every…

The Onion

Trump Boys Get Weird Feeling After Uncle Elon Shows Them Busty Anime Cat Girl

November 21, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionPALM BEACH, FL—Blushing, short of breath, and unable to look away from the image, the Trump boys told…

The Onion

NASA: Potential Link Between Extraterrestrials, Giant Metal Claw Picking Up Earth

November 21, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Urging the public to remain skeptical until the object could be studied further, NASA officials confirmed during a…

The Onion

Joe Biden Given Human Food As Birthday Treat

November 21, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—After bending the rules with a celebratory serving in honor of his special day, White House officials confirmed…

The Onion

RFK Jr. Vows To Ban Soaps That Smell So Good You Eat A Little

Finn McFrameNovember 18, 2024November 18, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Promising to end what he has called a “war on public health” by the federal government, Robert F.…

The Onion

Disney Wedding Kid-Free

Finn McFrameNovember 16, 2024November 16, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionANAHEIM, CA—Saying the couple wanted to minimize disruptions while they celebrated their love of American animation and each…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 40 41 42 Next

Most Viewed Posts

  • 😱 New Days of Thunder Sequel Set to Drive Woke Hollywood Wild! 🏁💥 (1,013)
  • Are You Sure This Is Linkin Park? Fans Claim New Song Sounds Like Paramore! 🎸 (1,001)
  • Yoda Goes Black, Chewbacca’s New Pronouns: Lucasfilm’s Wild Plans for Star Wars 😱🌟 (979)
  • 🎮 BioWare’s «Mancleaners» and the New Woman Effect: A Look Inside the Studio’s Gender Revolution 💼 (883)
  • New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins (709)

Latest posts

  • De Niro’s ‘The Alto Knights’ on Max: June 6, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mob
  • Jim Carrey’s Comedy Masterpiece So Good It’s… On Tubi? You Gotta Be Kidding Me
  • Mosh Pit on Gutalax Vol.3 (Maryland Deathfest 2025)
  • Mosh Pit on Gutalax Vol.2 (Maryland Deathfest 2025)
  • Hollywood has officially lost its mind: bathe in Sydney, toilet paper with Trejo!

Archives

  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn McFrame October 8, 2024
Editorial
! Editorial strike2
Editorial

🔥 Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: «Too Much Money, Too Much Freedom — Enough Is Enough!»

Finn McFrame January 29, 2025
May 2025
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2025 Jackal.Today | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}