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Tag: Apple

Owen Wilson’s Nose Dives Back Into the ‘Meet The Parents’ Dumpster Fire
Breaking, Movie News

Owen Wilson’s Nose Dives Back Into the ‘Meet The Parents’ Dumpster Fire

Finn McFrameJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful crap, they’re doing another ‘Meet the Parents’ movie? 🙄 Is nothing sacred anymore? Are we really scraping…

India’s Tech Dreams Get a Reality Check (Thanks, Apple and Trump)
Elephant Reads CNN

India’s Tech Dreams Get a Reality Check (Thanks, Apple and Trump)

Big ElephantJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! Now they’re drooling over India stealing jobs from China because of Trump’s trade…

JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like
Elephant Reads CNN

JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! JPMorgan Chase, bending to the woke mob, is hiking the annual fee on its Sapphire Reserve card…

Samsung’s Geriatric Games: Competing with Apple Watch in the “Still Alive?” Department
Elephant Reads CNN

Samsung’s Geriatric Games: Competing with Apple Watch in the “Still Alive?” Department

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling the fear and pushing for more surveillance, I see. Now Samsung wants to track your every…

Sam Bam Koltun’s EXCELLENT Godsmack Adventure: Gratitude Overload
Breaking, Music News

Sam Bam Koltun’s EXCELLENT Godsmack Adventure: Gratitude Overload

Chord F. DiscordJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

So, apparently, Sam Bam Koltun (yes, that’s his real name, I Googled it 🙄) of DOROTHY, FASTER PUSSYCAT (lol, who?),…

ORANGE9MM Throws Caution (and Good Taste) to the Wind with ‘Turn It Up’ After Quarter-Century Nap
Breaking, Music News

ORANGE9MM Throws Caution (and Good Taste) to the Wind with ‘Turn It Up’ After Quarter-Century Nap

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Fresh off opening for REFUSED (who?) and QUICKSAND (still around?) in the Big Apple as part of “The Refused Are…

Mark Ruffalo, the Hulk himself, slumming it in a Sian Heder flick: ‘Being Heumann’
Breaking, Movie News

Mark Ruffalo, the Hulk himself, slumming it in a Sian Heder flick: ‘Being Heumann’

Finn McFrameJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

Oh, great, another inspirational biopic! 🙄 Because what the world REALLY needs is more Hollywood patting itself on the back. Mark…

Critically Acclaimed 2025 Film (97% on Rotten Tomatoes, No Way!) Now Streaming Online
Breaking

Critically Acclaimed 2025 Film (97% on Rotten Tomatoes, No Way!) Now Streaming Online

Finn McFrameJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

Sinners, the cinematic masterpiece of 2025 (according to someone, somewhere), boasting a Rotten Tomatoes score so high it’s practically levitating,…

June 2025 Streaming: Prepare for the Blockbuster Disaster ‘A Minecraft Movie’ on Max
Breaking

June 2025 Streaming: Prepare for the Blockbuster Disaster ‘A Minecraft Movie’ on Max

Finn McFrameJune 2, 2025June 2, 2025

Oh. My. God. 🙄 Did you HEAR about “A Minecraft Movie” 🎬? Apparently, it CAUSES RIOTS. Like, actual, popcorn-throwing, “chicken…

Nancy Wilson Wishes Ann Wilson a Speedy Recovery From Her Imaginary Wheelchair for the ‘Royal Flush’ Tour: Will She Ever Walk Again
Breaking

Nancy Wilson Wishes Ann Wilson a Speedy Recovery From Her Imaginary Wheelchair for the ‘Royal Flush’ Tour: Will She Ever Walk Again

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2025May 31, 2025

In a riveting exposé with GoToWhitney, HEART guitarist Nancy Wilson deigned to address the burning question on everyone’s minds: why…

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Latest posts

  • Plant Rave: Groovy Green Spheres Get Schooled
  • 28 Years Later: More Like 28 Years Wasted, Am I Right
  • Owen Wilson’s Nose Dives Back Into the ‘Meet The Parents’ Dumpster Fire
  • DOJ Civil Rights Chief Throws Shade at UVA Prez’s Exit: CNN Gets the Scoop
  • AC/DC Headed to the White House: Aging Rockers Announce Plans to Run for U.S. President in 2028

Archives

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  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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