Skip to content
logo4

Jackal.Today

News that makes you want to howl!

  • Home
  • Breaking
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Sport News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Advertise with us!
  • Editorial
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Canada

Prime Video’s Canadian Content Dumpster Fire: Prepare for Mediocrity
Breaking

Prime Video’s Canadian Content Dumpster Fire: Prepare for Mediocrity

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

Wow, Amazon finally decided to grace Canada with its presence and hold an “upfront” in Toronto. ๐Ÿ™„ You know, because…

Gene Hoglan Says Dark Angel’s New Album Will Totally Melt Your Face (Probably Not)
Breaking

Gene Hoglan Says Dark Angel’s New Album Will Totally Melt Your Face (Probably Not)

Chord F. DiscordMay 26, 2025May 26, 2025

OMG! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ After approximately eleventy billion years, DARK ANGEL, those geriatric thrash metal “pioneers” from California, are FINALLY releasing a…

Razor at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/24/2025)
Videos

Razor at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/24/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 25, 2025

Speed/Thrash Metal from Canada!

Big Wreck Still Exists, Apparently, Releases Song Called ‘Believer’ (Whatever)
Breaking

Big Wreck Still Exists, Apparently, Releases Song Called ‘Believer’ (Whatever)

Chord F. DiscordMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

**Oh. My. Gawd. ๐Ÿ™„ It’s 2025 and apparently BIG WRECK is still a thing? Like, seriously? Did anyone actually ask…

I Prevail Throws Out Perfectly Good Screamer, Claims It Was An “Accident”
Breaking

I Prevail Throws Out Perfectly Good Screamer, Claims It Was An “Accident”

Chord F. DiscordMay 15, 2025May 15, 2025

I PREVAIL, those Michigan rockers who somehow managed to get a platinum record and a couple of participation trophies (aka…

Career Fair: Desperate Tech Companies Throwing Warm Bodies at Problems, Get Your Free Swag (Maybe a Job)
Events

Career Fair: Desperate Tech Companies Throwing Warm Bodies at Problems, Get Your Free Swag (Maybe a Job)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2025

**OMG! Another “exclusive” Tech Career Fair US/Canada! ๐Ÿ™„ Sign up, upload your soul (resume), and MAYBE, just MAYBE, Fortune 500…

Ubisoft Toronto Accidentally Unlocks Its Doors, Celebrates 15 Years of… Something
Breaking

Ubisoft Toronto Accidentally Unlocks Its Doors, Celebrates 15 Years of… Something

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Ah, Ubisoft Toronto, bless their hearts. ๐Ÿ™„ They’re opening their doors for Doors Open Toronto to celebrate… wait for it……

Dave Mustaine: Actually a Fluffy Bunny? Chris Adler Spills the Tea
Breaking

Dave Mustaine: Actually a Fluffy Bunny? Chris Adler Spills the Tea

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

So, apparently, CHRIS ADLER, the guy who used to hit things for LAMB OF GOD (you know, that band your…

Oh, honey, did they *really* need to resurrect that rusty log truck for “Final Destination: Bloodlines”? ๐Ÿชต๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜‚
Breaking

Oh, honey, did they *really* need to resurrect that rusty log truck for “Final Destination: Bloodlines”? ๐Ÿชต๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜‚

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because Warner Bros. Pictures Canada is apparently REALLY trying to give us all heart attacks. With…

Oh great, more celebrities desperately trying to stay relevant at Game Con Canada 2025 ๐Ÿ™„๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿ’ธ
Breaking

Oh great, more celebrities desperately trying to stay relevant at Game Con Canada 2025 ๐Ÿ™„๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿ’ธ

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

Alright, gamers, hold onto your Mountain Dew-soaked hats because Game Con Canada is BACK! ๐ŸŽ‰ And guess what? They’ve managed…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

Most Viewed Posts

  • ๐Ÿ˜ฑ New Days of Thunder Sequel Set to Drive Woke Hollywood Wild! ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ’ฅ (1,223)
  • Are You Sure This Is Linkin Park? Fans Claim New Song Sounds Like Paramore! ๐ŸŽธ (1,214)
  • Yoda Goes Black, Chewbaccaโ€™s New Pronouns: Lucasfilm’s Wild Plans for Star Wars ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐ŸŒŸ (1,170)
  • ๐ŸŽฎ BioWareโ€™s ยซMancleanersยป and the New Woman Effect: A Look Inside the Studioโ€™s Gender Revolution ๐Ÿ’ผ (1,040)
  • New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins (841)

Latest posts

  • Nickelback Played at Office, YouTube Instantly Nukes Nuclear Blast Channel
  • Bryan Ferry and Amelia Barratt’s “Loose Talk”: More Like Loose Stool
  • Texas Guv Says “Nah, We Good” to Banning All the Good Stuff
  • Fortnite Blitz Royale: 2025’s Lightning-Fast Fiasco Nobody Asked For
  • NYC Mayor Wannabe: Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Shenanigans Unveiled

Archives

  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo ๐Ÿ™„ โ›ท๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘ป ๐Ÿ’ฐ.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! ๐Ÿค‘April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on ๐Ÿ›’Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts๐ŸŽฌApril 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ โ€“ Who Won This Clown Show? ๐Ÿคก๐ŸŽ‰April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on ๐Ÿค  Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn McFrame October 8, 2024
Editorial
! Editorial strike2
Editorial

๐Ÿ”ฅ Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: ยซToo Much Money, Too Much Freedom โ€” Enough Is Enough!ยป

Finn McFrame January 29, 2025
June 2025
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
« May    
Copyright © 2025 Jackal.Today | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}