Oh boy, buckle up buttercup, because the drama llama just birthed a whole alpaca farm over at Obsidian Entertainment! 🦙💥 It seems our dear art director, Matt Hansen, has finally tripped over his own «woke» shoelaces and landed face-first in a steaming pile of controversy. 💩 First, he gets caught red-handed admitting to blatant racism in his hiring practices (apparently, «diversity» means «no white guys allowed» 🙄), and now he’s decided to pick a fight with the one and only Elon Musk? 🤦♂️ Talk about career suicide! 💣
You see, Musk dared to criticize the blatant «woke» agenda being shoved down our throats in Obsidian’s upcoming fantasy game, Avowed. ⚔️ Instead of, you know, taking the criticism like a professional and maybe considering that not everyone wants their escapist fantasy worlds filled with political lectures, Hansen decided to throw a tantrum worthy of a toddler who dropped their ice cream cone. 🍦😭 He publicly insulted Musk, proving once and for all that he’s not only a discriminatory hiring manager but also a thin-skinned man-baby. 👶🍼
Of course, the internet exploded. 🔥 Gamers everywhere rejoiced at the prospect of some sweet, sweet justice being served. 😈 Meanwhile, the «woke» brigade clutched their pearls and shrieked about «racism» and «misogyny» (because apparently, criticizing someone for being racist is now racist? 🤔). It’s enough to make your head spin! 😵💫
But the best part? It seems Hansen’s little temper tantrum has finally caught up with him. According to our sources, the higher-ups at Obsidian (and probably Microsoft too, thanks to Elon’s masterful tagging skills on X 🎯) have decided to take matters into their own hands. And by «take matters into their own hands,» we mean they’re about to gag Hansen faster than you can say «cancel culture.» 🤫 Rumor has it they’re planning to cut off his internet access, delete all his social media accounts, and maybe even surgically remove his tongue! 👅✂️ Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures, right? 🤷♀️
So, what can we learn from this whole debacle? Well, first of all, maybe don’t be a racist jerk. Secondly, don’t pick fights with billionaires who have the power to ruin your life. And finally, if you’re going to try and shove a «woke» agenda down everyone’s throats, at least be prepared for some backlash. Because in the end, the only thing getting «canceled» is Hansen’s career. 🤣
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
