Greenland Furiously Making Snowballs In Preparation For American Military Invasion
NUUK — Vice President JD Vance was met with a cold reception early Friday when he arrived in Greenland to…
Day: March 28, 2025
Gen Z, Millennials Prefer Influencer Content Over Premium Entertainment
Read MoreThe OnionA new Deloitte study found that about 50% of younger consumers prefer watching creator-driven content on social media…
Cardinals Weirded Out By How Religious Brush With Death Made Pope
Read MoreThe OnionVATICAN CITY—Saying the pontiff’s abrupt change in personality had put them all on edge, cardinals of the Roman…
Manufacturer Recalls Faulty Shopping Carts With 4 Functioning Wheels
U.S. — Kart Rite Manufacturing (KRM) issued a nationwide recall this week following the discovery of a grocery store shopping…
Hollywood Calls It Quits After Realizing It Will Never Top ‘Smokey And The Bandit’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Movie production has officially ceased, ending the dreams of aspiring actors and screenwriters everywhere, as all Hollywood…
‘We Got Her’: British Police Arrest Dangerous 80 Year Old Who Spread Butter Using A Knife
LONDON — British authorities took one of the U.K.’s most dangerous individuals off the streets, with police announcing the arrest…
🎸 “Up From The Bottom” by Linkin Park: How the New Song Exploded in Adult Stores! 🔥
In the world of music, something incredible has happened — Linkin Park’s new song “Up From The Bottom” has become…
Snake Getting Twirled Around Like Lasso Never Gonna Live This Down
Read MoreThe OnionSARTELL, MN—Feeling a deep sense of embarrassment wash over his long, scaly body, a local snake getting twirled…