Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Day: March 31, 2025

Can Trump Serve a Third Term? Here Are 11 Ways It Could Happen
Babylon Bee

Can Trump Serve a Third Term? Here Are 11 Ways It Could Happen

FinnMarch 31, 2025

Democracy is dead because Trump killed it by being elected to a second presidential term. But could he kill it…

Finally, They’re Playing An Old Hymn In Church – Wait, False Alarm, They’ve Added A Weird New Chorus
Babylon Bee

Finally, They’re Playing An Old Hymn In Church – Wait, False Alarm, They’ve Added A Weird New Chorus

FinnMarch 31, 2025

U.S. — It’s a welcome act of God’s gracious providence: all the indications show that they’re finally playing a good…

The Onion

Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich

FinnMarch 31, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich appeared first on The Onion.   FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated…

You’ll Never Guess What’s Under The Pyramids! (It’s Sand)
Babylon Bee

You’ll Never Guess What’s Under The Pyramids! (It’s Sand)

FinnMarch 31, 2025

GIZA — Researchers have made a startling discovery about what lies beneath the Great Pyramids: it’s sand.   Read MoreBabylon Bee…

Yankees Debut New Gloves
Babylon Bee

Yankees Debut New Gloves

FinnMarch 31, 2025

NEW YORK, NY — Continuing to find every equipment modification that could give them a competitive edge, the New York…

Trump Doesn’t Rule Out Possibility Of Becoming Immortal Emperor Of Mankind For Next 10,000 Years
Babylon Bee

Trump Doesn’t Rule Out Possibility Of Becoming Immortal Emperor Of Mankind For Next 10,000 Years

FinnMarch 31, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump assuaged fears that he would seek an unconstitutional third term as President by suggesting he…

The Onion

Dietary Restrict-Funs

FinnMarch 31, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Dietary Restrict-Funs appeared first on The Onion.   FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of…

Here’s A Pickup Line To Use On A Girl Of Each Christian Denomination
Babylon Bee

Here’s A Pickup Line To Use On A Girl Of Each Christian Denomination

FinnMarch 31, 2025

If you’re a Christian guy looking to find a godly wife, you know it can be hard to start a…

“Blade” on Hold: Vampires Take a Timeout for Manicures and Cooking Shows 🍿🧛‍♂️
🍿🧄 Blade Swaps Sword for Spatula: Cooking Show Instead of Vampire Hunting 👨‍🍳🧛
Movie News

“Blade” on Hold: Vampires Take a Timeout for Manicures and Cooking Shows 🍿🧛‍♂️

FinnMarch 31, 2025March 31, 2025

Hollywood is buzzing with excitement once again! 🎬 This time, the spotlight is on the beleaguered project “Blade,” which has…

The Onion

Man Spends Afternoon Volunteering Opinions About The Homeless

FinnMarch 31, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—Saying he found the activity enriched his life and provided him with a real sense of purpose,…

Latest posts

  • US Stocks Up on Cheap Yen Like It’s Black Friday
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 3 2026
  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Lita Ford somehow still alive and making music again

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
March 2025
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Feb   Apr »
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.