Addison Rae Quits Music After One (1) Song, Proving Even TikTok Stars Can’t Escape the Clutches of Mediocrity 💀🎤🗑️?
OMG, you guys, Addison Rae is releasing an album, and apparently, it’s going to be the BEST. ALBUM. EVER. Like,…
Day: April 25, 2025
FBI Agents Discover 17 More Illegals Hiding In Judge Dugan’s Robe
MILWAUKEE, WI — While being questioned by authorities following her arrest, FBI agents discovered 17 more illegal aliens hiding in…
Man Saves Hundreds Of Thousands In Student Loans By Just Learning How To Hate Jews On The Internet
MILLVILLE, NJ — According to sources, college dropout Jack Doulton saved hundreds of thousands of dollars on student loans by…
‘Christianity Today’ Announces It Has Converted To Islam
CAROL STREAM, IL — Long-running religious magazine and online publication Christianity Today announced on Friday that it had converted to…
Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉
Hey there, gamers and absurdity enthusiasts, Jackal.Today is here to dive into a wild story about the biggest modding platform…
Federal Judge Travels Back In Time To Overturn Trump’s Birth
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to newly released court documents, a federal judge invented time travel and transported himself to New…
🤯 “Still Not Dead!”: Faces Are Dropping a COMEBACK Album After 50 Years (No, It’s Not a Prank)
In case you thought Faces were already living out their golden years at some Florida retirement ranch, mainlining prune juice…
Oh wow, Linkin Park dropped a visualizer for “Unshatter,” because clearly we needed *more* shiny things to distract us from the void 🙄✨.
OMG, Linkin Park dropped a “visualizer” for “Unshatter”! 🙄 As if anyone actually *watches* those things. It’s basically a screensaver…
Sydney Sweeney to grace the silver screen in yet another “prestige” role, proving once again that Hollywood has run out of ideas💅🎬🙄
Hold on to your hats, folks, because Hollywood’s about to butcher another beloved video game! Split Fiction, that co-op game…
Chipotle Planning First Location In Mexico
Read MoreThe OnionChipotle has announced plans to expand into Mexico, sharing that their first restaurant will open early next year.…