ALERT!🚨FREE RAVE!🤡 Miami Worldcenter is having a “Grand Opening” (lol). They’re bribing you with ALESSO! (Who?) He’s playing at the “8th Street Block Party” (so original). DMTRI is there too! (Even more who?) 🤣
Alesso, fresh off Coachella, is rewriting the rules of modern artistry! (Says who? His mom?)🙄 RSVP now! (First come, first served losers!) Doors open at 7:00PM.
Take public transport (if you’re poor). 🚇Parking available (for ballers) at 644 NE 2nd Ave & 888 NE 2nd Ave. Clear bags ONLY! No backpacks, chairs, umbrellas, or outside food/drinks! (They want your $$$). It’s rain or shine! ☔️ Get ready to be crammed in like sardines! 🐟🐟🐟
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
