OMG! ๐ Another ‘Karate Kid’ movie? Seriously? ๐คฆโโ๏ธ It’s like Hollywood is stuck in the ’80s, recycling the same tired tropes over and over again. Can’t they come up with something original for once? ๐ But hey, at least we can make fun of it, right? ๐ Let’s dive into this cinematic dumpster fire ๐ฅ and rank them from “meh” to “OMG, why does this exist?” ๐คฎ
First up, we have the 1989 cartoon series, ‘The Karate Kid’. ๐ฅ Daniel and Mr. Miyagi travel the world looking for a stolen talisman. Sounds riveting, doesn’t it? ๐ด Who asked for this? Seriously, did anyone wake up one morning and say, “You know what the world needs? A ‘Karate Kid’ cartoon!” ๐คฆโโ๏ธ I bet even the creators forgot this existed. ๐คฃ
Next, ‘The Next Karate Kid’. ๐ฅ Mr. Miyagi mentors a troubled Hilary Swank. ๐ค Okay, Hilary Swank is awesome, but this movie? Not so much. It’s like they ran out of ideas and just threw a female lead into the mix. ๐คทโโ๏ธ “Ancient wisdom against teenage spunk”? More like ancient boredom against teenage angst. ๐
Then, there’s ‘Karate Kid: Legends’. ๐ฅ Kung fu prodigy Li Fong moves to NYC and teams up with Jackie Chan and Ralph Macchio. ๐คฏ Talk about a desperate attempt to revive a dying franchise! ๐งโโ๏ธ Jackie Chan AND Ralph Macchio? It’s like they’re throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks. Spoiler alert: nothing will. ๐
Ah, ‘The Karate Kid Part III’. ๐ฅ John Kreese and a ruthless businessman seek revenge on Daniel and Mr. Miyagi. ๐ This movie is so bad, it’s good… in a “so bad it’s hilarious” kind of way. ๐ Ralph Macchio looks like he’s about 40 playing a teenager, and the plot is dumber than a bag of hammers. ๐จ
Let’s not forget the 2010 remake, ‘The Karate Kid’. ๐ฅ Jaden Smith learns kung fu from Jackie Chan in China. ๐จ๐ณ Okay, I’ll admit, this one wasn’t *terrible*. But it’s still a remake, and remakes are inherently unoriginal. ๐ Plus, Jaden Smith’s acting? Let’s just say he’s no Daniel LaRusso. ๐ฌ
‘The Karate Kid Part II’. ๐ฅ Miyagi and Daniel go to Okinawa to confront Miyagi’s past. ๐๏ธ This one’s actually decent! ๐ But let’s be real, it’s still not as good as the original. It’s like the slightly less cool sequel that tries too hard. ๐ฉ
And finally, ‘Cobra Kai’. ๐ This series actually managed to revive the franchise! ๐ It’s got nostalgia, drama, and plenty of cheesy ’80s references. ๐ง But let’s not pretend it’s high art. It’s still a soap opera with karate. ๐คทโโ๏ธ
And of course, the OG ‘The Karate Kid’. ๐ฅ Daniel LaRusso learns karate from Mr. Miyagi and kicks Johnny Lawrence’s butt. ๐ This is where it all started, and it’s still the best. Wax on, wax off, am I right? ๐คฃ But even this classic has its flaws. Let’s be honest, Daniel was kind of a whiny brat. ๐ถ
So, there you have it! A complete ranking of every ‘Karate Kid’ movie and TV show, from forgettable to slightly less forgettable. ๐ Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch something that doesn’t involve karate. โ๏ธ
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true callingโor at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.