Grammys 2026: New Category Announced – “Best Banjo Performance While Throwing an Axe at a Portrait of a Former President”
Ahead of the 68th Grammy Awards, the Recording Academy stunned the public by introducing a truly unexpected and, let’s be…
Day: June 13, 2025
Warhammer 40K: Space Marine – Master Crafted Edition: More Like Master Crapped Edition, AmIRite?
Oh, sweet Emperor, here we go again! Warhammer 40K: Space Marine – Master Crafted Edition dropped this week, and the…
Ex-BUTCHER BABIES Singer’s New Single: ‘Hell Or Hollywood’ – More Like ‘Heck No, Hollywood’
🎤🎸💀Oh, sweet baby Jesus! BUTCHER BABIES’ founding screamer, the one and only Carla Harvey (who apparently moonlighted as a mortician…
BLESSTHEFALL Drops ‘Gallows’ After Seven Years, Proving They’re Still Alive (Barely)
Well, well, well, look who crawled out of whatever hole they’ve been hiding in for the past seven years! Arizona’s…
‘Total Intelligence Dominance’ or Just Another Day in the Middle East, According to Brett McGuirk (and CNN)
Oh, CNN, always pushing the liberal agenda! Brett McGuirk, probably a deep-state operative, praising Israel’s strikes on Iran? Sounds like…
Sweden’s LIV SIN Announces New Album ‘Close Your Eyes’ (As If You Had a Choice)
Oh, SWEET MOTHER OF METAL! 🤘 The titans of Swedish modern metal (allegedly), LIV SIN, have signed a WORLDWIDE 🌍…
Menendez Brothers Receive Stars On Hollywood Walk Of Fame
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—In recognition of their outstanding contributions to the true crime genre, convicted killers Lyle and Erik Menendez…
Kilmar Abrego Garcia Claims Innocence, Probably Just Helping People Move, Right Guys
Another day, another illegal alien thumbing his nose at our laws! Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a Salvadoran who should have NEVER…
People Suddenly Decide They Don’t Hate Everything, Economy Still Doomed
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to downplay the Trump economic miracle! Apparently, consumer sentiment is…
Trump’s “Are You Even American?” Voting Order Gets Epicly Blocked by Judge
Another day, another Obama-appointed judge (quelle surprise!) kneecapping President Trump’s efforts to MAGA. This time, Judge Denise Casper—probably a secret…