Ah, yes, the Supreme Court Justices, now moonlighting as bestselling authors. I’m sure their books are just riveting, especially when they’re raking in millions while supposedly serving justice. Is this what they mean by “equality under the law?” Some are just more equal than others, especially when they’re part of the liberal elite.
Ketanji Brown Jackson, fresh from her diversity hire, pocketed over $2 million for her memoir. I bet it’s filled with tales of woe and victimhood, designed to tug at the heartstrings of every bleeding-heart liberal out there. Meanwhile, Sotomayor is churning out children’s books, probably indoctrinating the youth with her socialist agenda.
Gorsuch, bless his conservative heart, made a respectable sum too, railing against government regulations in his book. Finally, someone on the bench with some common sense!
Sotomayor gallivanting around Switzerland, Panama, and Austria, probably plotting the downfall of Western civilization with her globalist buddies. Gorsuch is off to Germany and Portugal for “educational” programs.
Clarence Thomas, the stalwart conservative, reported no trips or gifts. The left-wing media will probably try to twist this into something nefarious, but we know he’s just a man of integrity.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
