Alright, listen up, you glorious Tarnished noobs! Elden Ring: Nightreign has been out for a whopping three weeks, and FromSoftware and Bandai Namco Entertainment, in their infinite wisdom (or maybe just boredom), have decided to bless us with… wait for it… limited-time buffs to Nightlords! Because apparently, the game wasn’t hard enough already. Prepare to git gud… again! 🤣
So, you thought you were hot stuff after slapping around those Nightlords, huh? Think again, scrub! Bandai Namco Entertainment and FromSoftware, in a move that can only be described as peak trolling, have announced that Elden Ring: Nightreign is about to get even more ridiculous with these “enhanced” Nightlords. They’re calling them Everdark Sovereigns, which sounds like something a teenager would come up with while writing bad fanfiction. These Everdark Sovereigns are just stronger, more annoying versions of Gaping Jaw, Sentient Pest, and Darkdrift Knight. And guess what? More are coming! Get ready for Tricephalos, Augur, Equilibrious Beast, and Fissure in the Fog. Because why not? Let’s just throw every random word we can think of into a blender and call it a boss! 🤪
Oh, but wait, there’s more! These new, super-duper challenging Everdark Sovereigns are only available AFTER you’ve already beaten the regular versions. So, you have to suffer through the original fights just to unlock the privilege of getting your butt kicked even harder. And, of course, they’re only available for a “limited time.” Because FOMO is the best way to keep you glued to your screen, right? A new Everdark Sovereign will grace Limveld each week, starting with Gaping Jaw. You have until June 26th to experience the joy of getting one-shot by a slightly different version of a boss you already hate. Sentient Pest and Darkdrift Knight will follow, because misery loves company. These Everdark Sovereigns will feature “remixed move sets” and “harder-hitting techniques.” In other words, they’re going to spam the same attack over and over again, but now it does 99% of your health. Fun times! 💀
The first Everdark Sovereign, the enhanced version of Adel, Baron of the Night (Gaping Jaw), is already here to ruin your day! This delightful encounter is available from June 19th to June 26th. The only requirements? You must have beaten the regular version of each Nightlord (duh!) and be connected to the internet. Because nothing says “challenging single-player experience” like requiring an internet connection. FromSoftware wants you to know that you can tackle these Everdark Sovereigns alone, but you still need to be online. So, basically, you’re alone, but not really. It’s like that one friend who always says they’re there for you but never actually shows up. 😒
If you’re a masochist and want more information, you can visit the official Bandai announcement page. But honestly, why would you? You already know it’s going to be a pain in the butt. Just embrace the suffering and get ready to die… a lot. Good luck, Tarnished! You’re going to need it. 🙏
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
