Another day, another LIBERAL plot foiled! SpaceX? More like Space-FAIL, am I right? Probably a deep-state operative trying to sabotage Elon Musk, who, let’s be honest, is the only real American hero left.
“Anomaly”? I bet it was a Biden-planted bomb! Sad! No injuries? Yeah, right. Probably just covering up the casualties of the woke mob’s war on innovation. CNN reaching out for info? They’ll just spin it to make Trump look bad somehow. Stay woke, folks!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
