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Month: June 2025

CDC Expert Flees Burning Building, Cites “Reasons”
Elephant Reads CNN

CDC Expert Flees Burning Building, Cites “Reasons”

Big ElephantJune 20, 2025June 20, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! Dr. Fiona Havers, a cog in the CDC’s fear-mongering machine, is “resigning” over…

MÖTLEY CRÜE and DOLLY PARTON Team Up to Butcher ‘Home Sweet Home’ in New Collab
Breaking, Music News

MÖTLEY CRÜE and DOLLY PARTON Team Up to Butcher ‘Home Sweet Home’ in New Collab

Chord F. DiscordJune 20, 2025June 20, 2025

MÖTLEY CRÜE, those purveyors of fine, aged cheese 🧀, are releasing yet ANOTHER compilation album, “From The Beginning”, on September…

Biden Declares Juneteenth a National “Let’s All Get Along” Day at a Church Older Than Your Grandpa
Elephant Reads CNN

Biden Declares Juneteenth a National “Let’s All Get Along” Day at a Church Older Than Your Grandpa

Big ElephantJune 20, 2025June 20, 2025

Oh, goodie, more virtue signaling from Sleepy Joe! He’s at a “historic Black church” in Texas, probably plotting how to…

Trump’s back, baby! Two weeks to nuke a deal, or two weeks to nuke Iran, who knows!
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s back, baby! Two weeks to nuke a deal, or two weeks to nuke Iran, who knows!

Big ElephantJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

Oh, the Deep State is quaking in their boots! Trump’s giving Iran a whole TWO WEEKS to play nice after…

Trump Whines About Getting the Day Off, Calls Juneteenth a ‘Non-Working Holiday’
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Whines About Getting the Day Off, Calls Juneteenth a ‘Non-Working Holiday’

Big ElephantJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Our fearless leader, President Trump, speaks the truth about these ridiculous “non-working holidays” that are…

IAEA Chief States Iran’s Nuclear Report is So Last Season
Elephant Reads CNN

IAEA Chief States Iran’s Nuclear Report is So Last Season

Big ElephantJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

Oh, CNN and Anderson Cooper, still pushing the narrative that Iran’s nuclear program is just a big misunderstanding! The IAEA…

FEMME FATALE to Drop New Single ‘Living Like There’s No Tomorrow’ Next Week (Because Their Music Career Might End)
Breaking, Music News

FEMME FATALE to Drop New Single ‘Living Like There’s No Tomorrow’ Next Week (Because Their Music Career Might End)

Chord F. DiscordJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

FEMME FATALE, the band that refuses to die (much like cockroaches after a nuclear apocalypse) fronted by Lorraine Lewis, is…

Texan Republicans Tip Off State Department That Austin Has Nuclear Weapons
Babylon Bee

Texan Republicans Tip Off State Department That Austin Has Nuclear Weapons

FinnJune 19, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources within the Trump administration, Texas Republicans tipped off the State Department about the city…

Marvel Cosmic Invasion: Prepare to Button-Mash Your Way to Superheroic Bliss
Breaking, Games News

Marvel Cosmic Invasion: Prepare to Button-Mash Your Way to Superheroic Bliss

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

Okay, so Marvel, right? They’ve apparently been doing the whole “punch dudes in the face” thing for ages. Who knew?…

OOPS! Israel Accidentally Bombs Iranian TV Studio (Again!)
Elephant Reads CNN

OOPS! Israel Accidentally Bombs Iranian TV Studio (Again!)

Big ElephantJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

Oh, the poor, poor Iranians! Their propaganda machine got a little hiccup thanks to some Israeli fireworks. Maybe if they…

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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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