Skip to content
logo4

Jackal.Today

News that makes you want to howl!

  • Home
  • Breaking
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Sport News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Advertise with us!
  • Editorial
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Month: June 2025

Cancerslug in Asheville, NC (06/28/2025)
Videos

Cancerslug in Asheville, NC (06/28/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyJune 29, 2025

Horror Punk and Gothic/Death Rock from Huntsville, Alabama! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as…

BILL WARD (Literally Who?) Claims to Almost Be Done With 2 (TWO!) New Solo Albums (LOL!)
Breaking, Music News

BILL WARD (Literally Who?) Claims to Almost Be Done With 2 (TWO!) New Solo Albums (LOL!)

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

So, apparently, geriatric drumming sensation 🥁 Bill Ward, bless his cotton socks, is still alive and kicking (or at least…

Squid Game Season 3: More Like Squid *Lame*, amirite
Breaking, Movie News

Squid Game Season 3: More Like Squid *Lame*, amirite

Finn McFrameJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Released on Netflix on June 27th, ‘Squid Game’ Season 3, because apparently two seasons weren’t enough, represents the final *alleged*…

OMG! Are Women Finally Gonna Stop Being Noobs in Gaming?
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Are Women Finally Gonna Stop Being Noobs in Gaming?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Oh no, not ANOTHER article about women in gaming? 🙄 I mean, haven’t we solved all the problems by now?…

Trump Promises TikTok Savior Reveal in a Whopping ‘Two Weeks,’ Again
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Promises TikTok Savior Reveal in a Whopping ‘Two Weeks,’ Again

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Oh, CNN is reporting that President Trump, the REAL President, is working on a deal for TikTok? You know, that…

Thom Tillis Quits After Betraying Trump (LOL!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Thom Tillis Quits After Betraying Trump (LOL!)

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Another one bites the dust! Seems like Senator Tillis couldn’t handle the heat from the MAGA train. All this talk…

Anime Expo 2025: Prepare for Disappointment—Netflix, MAPPA, and the Usual Suspects ATLUS/SEGA
Breaking, Games News

Anime Expo 2025: Prepare for Disappointment—Netflix, MAPPA, and the Usual Suspects ATLUS/SEGA

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🎉 The SPJA (whoever THEY are) finally dropped the Anime Expo 2025 schedule! Prepare…

MACHINE HEAD Forced To Play With Random Dude Named ZACK OHREN At Norway’s TONS OF ROCK Festival
Breaking, Music News

MACHINE HEAD Forced To Play With Random Dude Named ZACK OHREN At Norway’s TONS OF ROCK Festival

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Hey there, metalheads! 🤘 Your favorite Bay Area band, MACHINE HEAD, allegedly kicked off their “summer” 2025 European tour on…

Beyoncé’s Hovercar Debacle: Queen Bey’s Ride Turns Into a Tilt-a-Whirl in Houston
Elephant Reads CNN

Beyoncé’s Hovercar Debacle: Queen Bey’s Ride Turns Into a Tilt-a-Whirl in Houston

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Queen Bey’s Flying Car Debacle: A Sign from Above? Beyoncé’s “flying” car tilted mid-air in Houston. Was this a sign…

Fairborn’s Corn Fest: Prepare for Ear-resistible Chaos
Events

Fairborn’s Corn Fest: Prepare for Ear-resistible Chaos

Chuck B. BallsyJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Oh, honey, you wanna stay in the loop? 🙄 Click “Notify me” for ticket info… or not. Who cares? 🤷‍♀️…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 83 Next

Most Viewed Posts

  • Are You Sure This Is Linkin Park? Fans Claim New Song Sounds Like Paramore! 🎸 (1,356)
  • 😱 New Days of Thunder Sequel Set to Drive Woke Hollywood Wild! 🏁💥 (1,345)
  • Yoda Goes Black, Chewbacca’s New Pronouns: Lucasfilm’s Wild Plans for Star Wars 😱🌟 (1,297)
  • 🎮 BioWare’s «Mancleaners» and the New Woman Effect: A Look Inside the Studio’s Gender Revolution 💼 (1,133)
  • New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins (928)

Latest posts

  • Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Mistaken for a CNN Documentary — White House Freaks Out
  • Biden’s Ex-Buddy Admits: We’re Basically Israel’s Lapdog
  • Neil Druckmann Abandons Ship, Leaves ‘The Last of Us’ Fans to Drown in Disappointment
  • Xbox’s “Perfect” Dark Future: Cancelled Dreams and Layoff Party
  • Judge throws Trump’s border tantrum in the trash where it belongs

Archives

  • July 2025
  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn McFrame October 8, 2024
Editorial
! Editorial strike2
Editorial

🔥 Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: «Too Much Money, Too Much Freedom — Enough Is Enough!»

Finn McFrame January 29, 2025
June 2025
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
« May   Jul »
Copyright © 2025 Jackal.Today | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}