US Institute of Peace: From Serious to Seriously Doge-ified, Security Chief Howls
In March, the self-proclaimed “geniuses” 🧠 from DOGE, led by the ever-stable 🤪 and totally-not-erratic Elon Musk’s Department of Government…
Month: June 2025
Netflix dares to drop ‘scariest movie ever’ (as if we haven’t heard that before) with a ‘jaw-dropping plot twist’ (that probably makes no sense) that left fans screaming (probably from boredom)
Netflix is gracing us, the unwashed masses, with Barbarian, a cinematic masterpiece so terrifying, it’s been scientifically proven to make…
Critically Acclaimed 2025 Film (97% on Rotten Tomatoes, No Way!) Now Streaming Online
Sinners, the cinematic masterpiece of 2025 (according to someone, somewhere), boasting a Rotten Tomatoes score so high it’s practically levitating,…
Bookie Season 2 (TV series): A Totally Unbiased and Accurate Episode Guide (Probably)
Alright, buckle up buttercups 🐴, because “Bookie” Season 2 is here to grace us with its presence… or something. If…
“Braindead Fest 2025: Still Kicking (and Eating)”
**OMG! 🧟 Living Dead Weekend 2025! Monroeville Mall is gonna be crawling with zombies!** 🧟♀️ 40th Anniversary of DAY OF…
FAILURE Announces Band Documentary ‘Every Time You Dropped Your Instruments’
Oh, great, more FAILURE. As if the world needed another documentary about a band that peaked in the 90s and…
Shinedown’s ‘Three Six Five’ Somehow Climbs to the Top of the “Alternative” Chart, Proving Music is Dead
SHINEDOWN, bless their hearts, have somehow managed to snag the No. 1 spot on the Alternative Radio chart with their…
Black People: Born Different or Just Raised That Way
**OMG! 🙄 “Race Vs Culture: The Black Experience” 🎬 is dropping! Prepare for *authentic* voices™️ discussing Black identity in America!…
10 Out Of 10 Therapists Recommend Rolling Truck Window Down To Let Your Arm Get A Little Sun
U.S. — Welcome news greeted stressed-out Americans today, as results of a new survey indicated that 10 out of 10…
Wes Anderson’s Box Office Platform Openings: A Hilarious Predictor of ‘The Phoenician Scheme’s’ Looming Doom
Wes Anderson is basically the cinematic equivalent of that one friend who only listens to obscure vinyl records and wears…