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Month: July 2025

Trump declares tariff war, threatens to make your wallet cry with 70% taxes
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump declares tariff war, threatens to make your wallet cry with 70% taxes

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! While the liberal media at CNN tries to paint a picture of chaos,…

‘Spinal Tap’ Director Hilariously Roasts BLACK SABBATH’s Brains After Band Mistakenly Thinks Stonehenge Scene Was Ripped Off From Them
Breaking, Music News

‘Spinal Tap’ Director Hilariously Roasts BLACK SABBATH’s Brains After Band Mistakenly Thinks Stonehenge Scene Was Ripped Off From Them

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Rob Reiner, the cinematic genius 🙄 behind the *cough* “iconic” mockumentary “This Is Spinal Tap”, has *dared* to criticize the…

White House Attempts to Calm Down Big Business’s Fear of Losing Cheap Labor Due to Deportations, Says CNN (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

White House Attempts to Calm Down Big Business’s Fear of Losing Cheap Labor Due to Deportations, Says CNN (LOL)

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another day, another crisis manufactured by the liberal media! CNN is hyperventilating because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is…

Dude Claims ChatGPT Made Him Woke, Wife Thinks It’s Dumber Than Their Divorce Lawyer | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Dude Claims ChatGPT Made Him Woke, Wife Thinks It’s Dumber Than Their Divorce Lawyer | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another sheeple sucked into the digital abyss! This guy probably thinks AOC is smart, too. “Spiritually awakened” by a chatbot?…

Costco Now Catering to the Chronically Impatient Rich People
Elephant Reads CNN

Costco Now Catering to the Chronically Impatient Rich People

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another day, another socialist scheme disguised as “convenience”! Costco, bowing to the woke mob, is now offering special early hours……

Events

Costa Mesa: Get Ready for Some Wild Times (Or Not)

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 4, 2025

**OMG! Costa Mesa is, like, THE place to be!** ðŸĪŠ Forget your boring life and dive into the abyss of…

Daytona Beach: Get Ready for Events (If You Can Find Anything Worth Doing)
Events

Daytona Beach: Get Ready for Events (If You Can Find Anything Worth Doing)

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 4, 2025

Daytona Beach 🏖ïļ, Florida, is SOOOO lit ðŸ”Ĩ! But fr, why are you even there? Anyway, they have events. Like,…

Southeast Blows Up Sky, Hides From Climate Change
Events

Southeast Blows Up Sky, Hides From Climate Change

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 4, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Like, totally stay in the loop for updates! 😜 Never miss a thing! Are you interested? Click ‘Notify…

Shillington Explodes in Seidel Auto Group-Sponsored Blaze of Glory
Events

Shillington Explodes in Seidel Auto Group-Sponsored Blaze of Glory

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 4, 2025

**OMG! ðŸ˜ą Prepare for the Greater Governor Mifflin League Community Days, peasants!** 📍 Location: 101 S Waverly St, Reading, PA…

Lakefront Concert & FIREWORKS: Guaranteed to be LIT (literally, maybe)!
Events

Lakefront Concert & FIREWORKS: Guaranteed to be LIT (literally, maybe)!

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 4, 2025

**7+ people are *interested* in this event? ðŸĪĢ How about NO?** Click “Notify me” for tickets that might exist… or…

Posts pagination

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Latest posts

  • Trump’s doc says get moving fatty but he’s totally fine naturally
  • Liberal Erin Brockovich suddenly cares about America’s tech progress somehow
  • Life Coaching for the Hopelessly Lost and Clueless People
  • Get Ready for Another Overpriced Wellness Fad Inner Wisdom Labyrinth Coming to Totally Not Rip You Off This Summer
  • Women Should Totally Settle For Less Because Who Needs Self Respect Anyway

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2025
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