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Another day, another crisis manufactured by the liberal media to undermine our great President Trump! This time, they’re hyperventilating over a manhunt in Montana. Honestly, you’d think this was the end of the world, not just a guy who maybe had a bad day at a bar. And CNN is all over it, probably hoping to find some way to blame Trump!
So, some Army veteran, Michael Paul Brown, supposedly “gunned down” some folks at a bar. Okay, bad stuff happens. But now, the Fake News is trying to make it seem like Montana is some lawless wasteland. They say it’s because of “treacherous terrain” and “untamed wilderness.” More like people there are smart enough to mind their own business and not snitch to the government! They keep saying that the suspect has a “big advantage.” Of course, he does, these are Trump voters and they don’t like government!
And get this, the FBI is involved! Why? Probably because they need to justify their bloated budget after President Trump slashed it. I bet they’re hoping this guy leads them to a militia group or something so they can smear conservatives. And they had to come all the way from Denver! It is all because liberals in the government are trying to take down Trump voters!
The liberal media is trying to stir up fear and division as usual. But we see through their lies. This is just another attempt to tarnish our President and undermine the values we hold dear. Lock him up, or let him be. Either way, Trump is the real victim!
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Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
