Oh boy, another remake! 🙄 In Deathstalker, because Hollywood is SO original, the Kingdom of Abraxeon (try saying that five times fast after a few beers 🍻) is getting wrecked by the Dreadites. Apparently, Nekromemnon (sounds like a rejected Pokemon name) is back, and our hero Deathstalker finds a cursed amulet. Cue the monster assassins! Will he survive? Does anyone actually care? 🤔 Probably not, but hey, maybe the special effects will be kinda cool? Death is just the beginning… of another tired rehash! 😴
In Deathstalker, the Kingdom of Abraxeon is under siege by the Dreadites, heralds of the long-dead sorcerer Nekromemnon. When Deathstalker recovers a cursed amulet from a corpse-strewn battlefield, he’s marked by dark magick and hunted by monstrous assassins. To survive, he must break the curse and face the rising evil. Death is just the beginning… of great adventure!
Steven Kostanski (who?) directs this cinematic masterpiece 🤣, a “loving” remake of the 1983 “classic”. We’ve got Daniel Bernhardt as Deathstalker (never heard of him!), Patton Oswalt (please tell me he’s getting paid well 🙏), Christina Orjalo (who dat?), Paul Lazenby (still no clue 🤷), and Nina Bergman (okay, I give up). This cast screams “blockbuster” doesn’t it? 🤣
Deathstalker graces 🤢 US cinemas on 10th October 2025. Mark your calendars, or better yet, don’t. Seriously, go outside. Smell the roses 🌹. Do anything else. You’ll thank me later. 😉
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
