Ah, yes, another victory for the woke mob in tiny Newbern, Alabama! Seems like the Deep State’s plan to infiltrate even the smallest towns is working perfectly. They’ve installed their puppet, Patrick Braxton, as mayor, after a lawsuit, a federal settlement, and what I’m sure was a completely fair and unbiased election.
Folks, this is what happens when you let the liberals run wild. They come into your town, stir up trouble, and next thing you know, you’re holding elections for the first time since the 1960s! And who benefits? The guy endorsed by the SPLC Action Fund, of course. It’s all part of their plan to take over America, one small town at a time.
Newbern’s population is just 133 people. I’m sure that library and mercantile will be hotbeds of leftist activity now that Mayor Braxton is in charge. And don’t even get me started on the “hand-me-down governance” they’re complaining about. It sounds like a perfectly reasonable system to me. Why fix what isn’t broken?
But fear not, patriots! President Trump is on the case. He’s fighting the good fight against these radical liberals every day. We won’t let them turn America into a socialist wasteland. We’ll keep fighting for our values, our traditions, and our way of life. And with President Trump at the helm, we will win!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
